Yesterday I took another Saturday trip over to Occupy LA. This time was a little better, but people seem to be lacking a certain understanding ... of really how to do much of anything constructive. That seems harsh, but read on.
I arrived around 1:30pm and the first thing I saw was a group of students from local colleges around the LA area. About half were toting some kind of video camera. They were speaking about how difficult it was to organize any kind of large movement- especially on short notice. I know there is an Occupy group at SMC (without the tents @ the college I go to) but I haven't spoken to any of them yet. I didn't really take much from this meeting besides there are a number of activists from each school who travel from Occupy to Occupy sort of networking and trying to take from those sites whatever they can- trying to bring back something to share and some kind of method for organizing people. Without talking to Occupy SMC or Occupy UCLA, I can't really say how well they are doing at this.
One thing that was constant throughout my entire experience there yesterday was an increasing number of reports about theft, violence and general discord. There is a large number of people with mental illness- even a report of a group shooting heroin in the medical tent and leaving dirty needles. Violence typically erupts around four in the morning on the south lawn. A possible explanation of this is our (OccLA) proximity with Skid Row, formally Central City East, which is a long walk to OccLA. This area is home to the largest number of homeless people in the United States (3,668 to 5,131- so says wikipedia). A contributing aspect to this ruckus is the formulation of Tribes. More on this later.
There is some dispute over food rationing. They are also running low on gas- having to choose between cooking hot meals and keeping the media tent running. This doesn't make sense to me because of the close proximity to public libraries, but what the hell do I know. It seems like they could just export the media outlets to the library and focus on feeding people, but I just thought about that so I haven't discussed it. Again, the formulation of tribes play into this problem, but I'll expand on that later.
I saw a LAPD officer talking to someone I assumed to be the OccLA security team about someone apparently in OccLA who has been distributing weapons. From what I could catch, he described one weapon as a short baton, but I can't be sure. It was refreshing to see local PD working with the Occupy team. The LAPD building is right across the street, by the way. Yeah.
Occupy Los Angeles is broken up into two major areas- North Lawn and South Lawn. There is also a West Lawn, but I don't really know much about them. There is certainly a strong community there.
South Lawn has most of the action. Up the main stairs is the Media Tent and the stage, which is pretty separate from everything else. Dead center on the South Lawn is the Food Tent, Medical Tent, what was formally the print shop (AKA silk screening, since closed down due to theft), and the south-most edge is the welcome tent. All other space on the lawn is covered in Occupied tents. Again- I'll have to explain the Tribe situation.
South lawn has the most drug usage, it stays the loudest at night, has the largest transient population, the most violence (particularly amongst a single Tribe within South Lawn) and is home to the people who generally just want to party. This is a huge generalization, but it's impractical to get too detailed as things are constantly changing. Locations of the medical tent have changed several times since I last went, which makes pretty much any map irrelevant after a week. (Some locations like the media tent have remained unchanged)
North Lawn has the Library and the People's University. This is where I found the tent warning of liberal bigotry that I mentioned last week. Most of the meetings occur on this side because there is constant noise on the South Lawn. The General Assembly is held on the North Lawn- which could explain their poor turn out.
While I didn't attend the General Assembly I went to the mid-day equivalent (if you can call it that. it was eight people- most of which didn't attend more than half, lots of rotation). I think it was called the People's Assembly- or the Occupier's Assembly- something like that. It started with an open forum to submit concerns- mostly about theft and violence. The top issues for OccLA that I can discern are 1) they don't know how to deal with violent situations and 2) separate factions or "Tribes" don't really care to participate in anything beyond their group.
Tribes. As I generally understand it, this is what people are calling the groups of people that have formed. Some have names like "Camp Two Tarp" and most are defined either by an enclosure like a fence or a network made by running tarps from tent to tent, basically making large singular tents with small modular tents attaching to the edges. The basic structure is anywhere from three to seven tents in a semi-circle with tarps often strung from trees to form a single tent. I'd say there are about five major groups formed like this and several more on a smaller scale.
I've seen private storehouses of food within each Tribe as well as individual organizational structures (each tribe acts differently). Like I've mentioned last week, individually people have become much more organized but at the cost of a larger cohesion.
Ok- let's address the two major issues.
1) Violence. There is a security team- and a security word (which I find completely absurd. it's something like Sha Shanti) During the meeting I went to, some possible solutions were given such as to either dissolve the security team and form another or have trainings to make everybody part of the security. The second makes much more sense as you don't have to do anything with the existing security team. Also, you wouldn't have to waste precious time running around trying to find one of the security team, yelling Sha Shanti or whatever.
2) Larger Cohesion. As Tribes have become more popular out of frustration with the General Assembly, there has been a major loss in large-scale participation (especially if you don't talk with your fists). I was really surprised when possible solutions for this included alienating dissenters TO MAKE THEM WANT TO PARTICIPATE. Really? Really..? I tried to put my two cents in at this point, but was constantly interrupted. I should work the whole "being loud" thing.
I've had some training in dealing with difficult people. While I was working on a sailboat in Hawaii, we were planning a trip to a number of islands in the South Pacific where there would be yacht networks that I would have to infiltrate. Yeah, I've been trained in boating espionage, you want to fight about it? ANYWAY. Part of that process was to deal with the issue that many captains in the region are strongly egocentric and generally prickly characters. The way you'd get them to accept you, and, more importantly, actively care about your success was simply to ask for their help or input on your boat. No matter what their suggestion was, no matter how badly the advice (just short of punching a hole in the bottom and sinking your boat) you had to accept it and have them help implement the idea.
During that time I was also further trained in diplomacy by having to deal with several difficult characters including managers of several box stores and a Chieftain from Samoa. Turns out I'm pretty good at it.
This is how I'd apply that information to the Occupy Los Angeles issue: I'd go tribe to tribe, actively seeking help with some fundamental aspect of organization. I'd find out what each group was good at and try to implement that towards something I could use help with. The main objection within the Tribes is basically that the General Assembly does not give equal voice to all opinions. The counter to that would be to redesign the basic organization in regard to these voices. You'd essentially develop a much more complex system with many more parts- much more than any one group could organize. Done correctly, each tribe would have a vested interest and responsibility in running the infrastructure of Occupy Los Angeles. I'm going to write up a suggestion to that end and deliver it on my next visit.
This is precisely the same way I'd get more people involved with the movement. The same guy who suggested we alienate people to get them involved also suggested we kick out anyone that isn't political. I really wanted to punch this guy out.
I once heard art defined as anything you could speak about in an artistic language. (there is a reason I was going after philosophy of language. HEY LOOK, PRACTICAL APPLICATION!!!) Now, apply that to politics.
Now, all of a sudden, it isn't to find people with a political perspective but a matter of TRANSLATION. To take their concerns and even solutions and POLITICIZE THEM. I can't believe that I have to stress this but...
YOU DO NOT HAVE TO HAVE A POLITICAL PERSPECTIVE TO SOLVE POLITICAL PROBLEMS. Let's try to remember that NOTHING exists solely within the political landscape. Every single political issue has ties into at least a bajillion other issues and if you reject ideas because they aren't political, it seems to me that you've missed the bus completely.
So I suggest that Occupy LA- or anyone with the slightest tie to the Occupy Movement (if you've heard of it) takes their (major) concerns IN THEIR OWN LANGUAGE and presents it to someone within the Occupy sphere. A friend of mine had to close his bread delivery business because the price of flower was raised. I'm really too tired to do the due diligence but I'm 100% certain that one could convert that into a political issue if you tracked back the price of flower- as it's a basic commodity and it effects his livelihood as a small business owner.
I'd be more than happy to teach free classes in this kind of translation between ideas and the kind of research necessary. I guess I should get on that. After math homework.
Oh, a small note- Kat, the woman who started the silk screening printing @ Occupy LA lives a few blocks away from my house. Apparently Westwood area is trying to get something substantial started. I'll keep the facebook crew keen to those developments as they happen.
If you've got something to add, PLEASE DO SO. Especially if you disagree.
Basic recap:
Train the masses in problem resolution.
Ask for the help of dissatisfied groups.
Ask for the help of non-political people.
Monday, November 14, 2011
Wednesday, November 9, 2011
This statement is a lie..?
When someone praises my intellect...
It feels like someone is claiming life
in a corpse that has just twitched.
And when someone calls me a moron...
It feels like they believe me a bumbler
when really I've momentarily stumbled.
And when someone declares me strange...
It feels like they've never had the courage
to breathe a word of honesty about themselves.
I am an ocean of fire.
The resolved paradox.
I am the clench of the open palm.
I renounce all philosophy.
All gods are bastards.
It feels like someone is claiming life
in a corpse that has just twitched.
And when someone calls me a moron...
It feels like they believe me a bumbler
when really I've momentarily stumbled.
And when someone declares me strange...
It feels like they've never had the courage
to breathe a word of honesty about themselves.
I am an ocean of fire.
The resolved paradox.
I am the clench of the open palm.
I renounce all philosophy.
All gods are bastards.
Tuesday, November 8, 2011
Sunday, November 6, 2011
Occupy LA
Ok, so I just got back from Occupy Los Angeles and I'm not amused.
First, while there is a much greater organization on the personal level, it creates problems. There are fights. Mostly verbal- but I saw one fistfight. There is petty thievery, but mostly within a single group of people. There is a lot of bigotry- one tent I found warned of the "liberal bigotry" that was rampant at that location, and I can certainly attest to it.
Second, here are a lot of people there who's only aim is to get wasted and party. In the late afternoon there was a guy who represented part of the medical marijuana movement. There were huge weed banners, they gave out free samples of marijuana and most of the conversation I heard were people talking about scoring or how high they were. The crowd present during that part of the event (roughly half of the Occupied space) seemed to be there only to party. It was disheartening, to say the least.
I went to the General Assembly and it honestly looked like the student body council was running the show with a few older activists. There was very little active participation and the people's mic (having the crowd repeat the message to amplify the sound) didn't seem to be used for it's intention. It seemed like an indoctrination process. Everybody who wanted to hear was close enough to hear, and it seemed like the speakers were using it for their own enjoyment and as a flimsy way to get the audience to participate.
I spoke with some of the core group of the organizers (some of the people I felt were in the hub of the know) and they all had major hang-ups. There were four people talking together and myself, mostly listening or calling bullshit. One guy was obsessed with technology, always bringing up the fact that the government has something like "zero energy" which he knew ABSOLUTELY nothing about. Every single thing he brought up, I asked for details about. Nothing. Another guy kept bringing up Hamilton. Another kept trying to come up for a slogan for the corporate-government marriage. While I think each had strong and important points (some more than others), few could venture outside their area of specialization or general opinion.
One of them actually said this (I'm paraphrasing). "you know Pangaea? Yeah, well all the continents fit together! The dinosaurs died out because they liked to walk around and then the world's single land mass cracked." he goes on to explain, incredibly poorly, how the earth is expanding, how the grand canyon is a stretch mark and how the expansion of the earth creates water. Nevermind the simple fact that huge amounts of condensation in the early forming of the planet caused torrential flooding. There was too much bogus science to actually disprove piece by piece so I went to the heart of it. "What's the science behind the earth expanding? Why does it do that?"
"You know, it's sort of like why the planets spin in orbit. It's just something that happens!"
... and you're running this event? EXCUSE ME?! Then he went on how zero energy machines pull energy out of the environment. "What kind of energy does this thing pull? Like, static or heat or... what?"
"You can't think of it like that. You have to think about it like Einstein said- that everything is made of energy. You have to think about it like that." (I kid you not)
Ok, ok, okay, okie dokie. You burn something, Combustion turns it into heat and fire and light and smoke and ash- how does this machine take energy from the environment?
Oh, I don't know the science. There are like, really smart physicists that understand that. They make it work.
FACEPALM. All in all, I don't see humanity working out. Sorry. Nice try. I'm still going to provide updates. I'm still going to try to go once a week. I'm not at ALL enthused about what's happening. Interestingly enough, my original assessment holds true. We need more people of a more diverse ideological background. I'll add this, that we must become incredibly more proactive about our engagement with this thing or else it will just be a front lawn keger in every city hall. If that's the case, I really do hope the cops come and hose them off the grass.
-------
If I spend more than six hours there, I'm going to start hulk-smashing fools like Godzilla with a bone to pick.
Another major point I wanted to make is that we had some really excellent speakers! Like, incredible people! Unfortunately the majority of the people who showed up for the event were only there for the speech- they were not the people staying in the tents (most of them were not). Speakers include distinguished people as the following:
Robert Reich, Professor of Public Policy at UC Berkeley and former US Labor Secretary
William Black, professor of Economics and Law at the University of Missouri
Joel Rogers, professor of Law, Political Science, Public Affairs and Sociology at the University of Wisconsin
Michael Hudson - (via livestream) President of The Institute for the Study of Long-Term Economic Trends
Robert Scheer, Executive Editor, Truthdig.org
George Lakoff - (via livestream) - Professor of cognitive linguistics at UC Berkeley
Ellen Brown, Attorney and President of the Public Banking Institute
First, while there is a much greater organization on the personal level, it creates problems. There are fights. Mostly verbal- but I saw one fistfight. There is petty thievery, but mostly within a single group of people. There is a lot of bigotry- one tent I found warned of the "liberal bigotry" that was rampant at that location, and I can certainly attest to it.
Second, here are a lot of people there who's only aim is to get wasted and party. In the late afternoon there was a guy who represented part of the medical marijuana movement. There were huge weed banners, they gave out free samples of marijuana and most of the conversation I heard were people talking about scoring or how high they were. The crowd present during that part of the event (roughly half of the Occupied space) seemed to be there only to party. It was disheartening, to say the least.
I went to the General Assembly and it honestly looked like the student body council was running the show with a few older activists. There was very little active participation and the people's mic (having the crowd repeat the message to amplify the sound) didn't seem to be used for it's intention. It seemed like an indoctrination process. Everybody who wanted to hear was close enough to hear, and it seemed like the speakers were using it for their own enjoyment and as a flimsy way to get the audience to participate.
I spoke with some of the core group of the organizers (some of the people I felt were in the hub of the know) and they all had major hang-ups. There were four people talking together and myself, mostly listening or calling bullshit. One guy was obsessed with technology, always bringing up the fact that the government has something like "zero energy" which he knew ABSOLUTELY nothing about. Every single thing he brought up, I asked for details about. Nothing. Another guy kept bringing up Hamilton. Another kept trying to come up for a slogan for the corporate-government marriage. While I think each had strong and important points (some more than others), few could venture outside their area of specialization or general opinion.
One of them actually said this (I'm paraphrasing). "you know Pangaea? Yeah, well all the continents fit together! The dinosaurs died out because they liked to walk around and then the world's single land mass cracked." he goes on to explain, incredibly poorly, how the earth is expanding, how the grand canyon is a stretch mark and how the expansion of the earth creates water. Nevermind the simple fact that huge amounts of condensation in the early forming of the planet caused torrential flooding. There was too much bogus science to actually disprove piece by piece so I went to the heart of it. "What's the science behind the earth expanding? Why does it do that?"
"You know, it's sort of like why the planets spin in orbit. It's just something that happens!"
... and you're running this event? EXCUSE ME?! Then he went on how zero energy machines pull energy out of the environment. "What kind of energy does this thing pull? Like, static or heat or... what?"
"You can't think of it like that. You have to think about it like Einstein said- that everything is made of energy. You have to think about it like that." (I kid you not)
Ok, ok, okay, okie dokie. You burn something, Combustion turns it into heat and fire and light and smoke and ash- how does this machine take energy from the environment?
Oh, I don't know the science. There are like, really smart physicists that understand that. They make it work.
FACEPALM. All in all, I don't see humanity working out. Sorry. Nice try. I'm still going to provide updates. I'm still going to try to go once a week. I'm not at ALL enthused about what's happening. Interestingly enough, my original assessment holds true. We need more people of a more diverse ideological background. I'll add this, that we must become incredibly more proactive about our engagement with this thing or else it will just be a front lawn keger in every city hall. If that's the case, I really do hope the cops come and hose them off the grass.
-------
If I spend more than six hours there, I'm going to start hulk-smashing fools like Godzilla with a bone to pick.
Another major point I wanted to make is that we had some really excellent speakers! Like, incredible people! Unfortunately the majority of the people who showed up for the event were only there for the speech- they were not the people staying in the tents (most of them were not). Speakers include distinguished people as the following:
Robert Reich, Professor of Public Policy at UC Berkeley and former US Labor Secretary
William Black, professor of Economics and Law at the University of Missouri
Joel Rogers, professor of Law, Political Science, Public Affairs and Sociology at the University of Wisconsin
Michael Hudson - (via livestream) President of The Institute for the Study of Long-Term Economic Trends
Robert Scheer, Executive Editor, Truthdig.org
George Lakoff - (via livestream) - Professor of cognitive linguistics at UC Berkeley
Ellen Brown, Attorney and President of the Public Banking Institute
Monday, October 10, 2011
Friday, October 7, 2011
Butterfly in a Hurricane
Part of being an integral person is public announcement. I've got not only to take a stand, but take a public stand. It's just how I roll, yo. So here we go.
I live in my mind too much.
"Duh" you might say, but until recently, I didn't think it was a problem.
It's only a disadvantage if you don't know how to use it-
But there has been some things I haven't been able to get over with it.
I deal so much in theory because I'm terrified of action. I'm scared because how powerful I am. I've hurt some people because I was so capable. When I was a kid I was really manipulative and, much worse, I was incredibly good at it. So when I changed my habits, I gave up a lot of that ability because I couldn't use it responsibly.
I used to go out with a plan. I had a list of things I would make happen. You know what percentage I got? 100%. I could work a crowd better than anybody I knew. Occasionally I dip back into that feeling, but I always get scared.
Theory is comfortable. You don't have to touch anything. You can relate it in ways where other people can take action for you, in ways you don't involve yourself with. Psh. Not "you", it's about ME. I don't have to touch anything with theory and it's starting to make me sick.
Bouts of deep depression, isolation, I'm losing my voice. My cultural voice. My personal voice. I'm fading away and I won't have it. No. No, I'm taking my voice back.
So here is my public announcement. This shit is hard. It fucking hurts to step out and do this. It feels like I'm whipping a pistol around in a crowd and I don't want to hurt people anymore but you know what? People get hurt. It's a fact of life. I HAVE to become more responsible about what I can do or else I'm just going to disappear.
You ever been on Merry Go Round? The big metal plates with the bars- not the automated kind with the horses. While it's spinning, the farther towards the center you get, the more centrifugal force you feel. If you can't sneak onto a playground like I can (lololol) just spin in one place with your arms out. When you pull your arms in, you spin faster and reach the vomit threshold quicker. Science is fun.
When I start to take action, I feel that same kind of centrifugal heaviness. The more in my mind I am, the more mass I take, which makes taking action that much worse. When I'm really doing well, I have no mass and I reside in the center. No mass means no outward force; existing in the center means the greatest angle of rotation. Minus all the awkward science bullshit (oh, please, please let me explain hurricane physics! It's relevant, I promise!) when I'm stuck in my mind I do LOTS of WORK and get little done. When I'm free of that and can relax into whatever I'm doing, I get an INCREDIBLE amount of things done and do very, very little work.
A few people have seen me in those moments. It's one of the most beautiful things I've ever experienced, and to be fair, it's much more than simply getting out of my mind. For me, that is what I'm hindered by, so that's what I focus on. OR.... not focus on? i can haz paradox?
SO! How do I take on this herculean task? I've written "NOW" all over my apartment to help remind me about my issues of procrastination. It seems that when I don't procrastinate, it forces me into situations that in tern force me outside of my comfort zone- out of my mind. When I become uncomfortable it creates tension. That tension highlights what I need to work on- and then I work on that! WHICH IS AWESOME. SELF BETTERMENT IS SO GODDAMN SEXY.
Anyway.
Going to Occupy LA this Saturday.
Action.
Badass.
I live in my mind too much.
"Duh" you might say, but until recently, I didn't think it was a problem.
It's only a disadvantage if you don't know how to use it-
But there has been some things I haven't been able to get over with it.
I deal so much in theory because I'm terrified of action. I'm scared because how powerful I am. I've hurt some people because I was so capable. When I was a kid I was really manipulative and, much worse, I was incredibly good at it. So when I changed my habits, I gave up a lot of that ability because I couldn't use it responsibly.
I used to go out with a plan. I had a list of things I would make happen. You know what percentage I got? 100%. I could work a crowd better than anybody I knew. Occasionally I dip back into that feeling, but I always get scared.
Theory is comfortable. You don't have to touch anything. You can relate it in ways where other people can take action for you, in ways you don't involve yourself with. Psh. Not "you", it's about ME. I don't have to touch anything with theory and it's starting to make me sick.
Bouts of deep depression, isolation, I'm losing my voice. My cultural voice. My personal voice. I'm fading away and I won't have it. No. No, I'm taking my voice back.
So here is my public announcement. This shit is hard. It fucking hurts to step out and do this. It feels like I'm whipping a pistol around in a crowd and I don't want to hurt people anymore but you know what? People get hurt. It's a fact of life. I HAVE to become more responsible about what I can do or else I'm just going to disappear.
You ever been on Merry Go Round? The big metal plates with the bars- not the automated kind with the horses. While it's spinning, the farther towards the center you get, the more centrifugal force you feel. If you can't sneak onto a playground like I can (lololol) just spin in one place with your arms out. When you pull your arms in, you spin faster and reach the vomit threshold quicker. Science is fun.
When I start to take action, I feel that same kind of centrifugal heaviness. The more in my mind I am, the more mass I take, which makes taking action that much worse. When I'm really doing well, I have no mass and I reside in the center. No mass means no outward force; existing in the center means the greatest angle of rotation. Minus all the awkward science bullshit (oh, please, please let me explain hurricane physics! It's relevant, I promise!) when I'm stuck in my mind I do LOTS of WORK and get little done. When I'm free of that and can relax into whatever I'm doing, I get an INCREDIBLE amount of things done and do very, very little work.
A few people have seen me in those moments. It's one of the most beautiful things I've ever experienced, and to be fair, it's much more than simply getting out of my mind. For me, that is what I'm hindered by, so that's what I focus on. OR.... not focus on? i can haz paradox?
SO! How do I take on this herculean task? I've written "NOW" all over my apartment to help remind me about my issues of procrastination. It seems that when I don't procrastinate, it forces me into situations that in tern force me outside of my comfort zone- out of my mind. When I become uncomfortable it creates tension. That tension highlights what I need to work on- and then I work on that! WHICH IS AWESOME. SELF BETTERMENT IS SO GODDAMN SEXY.
Anyway.
Going to Occupy LA this Saturday.
Action.
Badass.
Monday, October 3, 2011
But what do you mean?
Friends and people I talk with often get confused to what I mean to say. Here's an explanation.
I recently wrote this little bit that's very near and dear to my heart.
"I'm a bohemian, but to me, so are you"
This is not what I mean to say at all. You see, a bohemian is a person that lives outside the normal way of operating. A person of fringe culture, a gypsy. Another way of saying what I mean to say would be...
"I'm an irrational, but to me, so are you"
I don't mean to pull the idea of logic into this at all either. It has nothing to do with the functions of logic or of social structure- what we choose to or are capable of adhering to.
Part of the problem is not that the phrase is so goddamn vague. The main issue, the crux to this message, and all of my personal messages really, is that it's an explanation of all things through one thing. I'm trying to show you and every person who experiences me what it is like to see the cosmos in a piece of beach wood.
I am outside of XYZ and I recognize openly, in a very public way, that YOU are also outside of XYZ. XYZ being that which you believe you're in. I can see the republican nature within the democrat and it isn't my fault if they can't see it.
This is, of course, saying that black is the same as white, which very few people can readily understand. So they generally have an awful time trying to figure out what the hell I mean by calling them a gypsy. It isn't readily available. It's very difficult to wrestle with intellectually. And that's ok! Don't stress it.
I recently wrote this little bit that's very near and dear to my heart.
"I'm a bohemian, but to me, so are you"
This is not what I mean to say at all. You see, a bohemian is a person that lives outside the normal way of operating. A person of fringe culture, a gypsy. Another way of saying what I mean to say would be...
"I'm an irrational, but to me, so are you"
I don't mean to pull the idea of logic into this at all either. It has nothing to do with the functions of logic or of social structure- what we choose to or are capable of adhering to.
Part of the problem is not that the phrase is so goddamn vague. The main issue, the crux to this message, and all of my personal messages really, is that it's an explanation of all things through one thing. I'm trying to show you and every person who experiences me what it is like to see the cosmos in a piece of beach wood.
I am outside of XYZ and I recognize openly, in a very public way, that YOU are also outside of XYZ. XYZ being that which you believe you're in. I can see the republican nature within the democrat and it isn't my fault if they can't see it.
This is, of course, saying that black is the same as white, which very few people can readily understand. So they generally have an awful time trying to figure out what the hell I mean by calling them a gypsy. It isn't readily available. It's very difficult to wrestle with intellectually. And that's ok! Don't stress it.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Resolved Paradox
To the townspeople, a new person can be strange.
To a stranger, everything is strange. So you start to wonder.
To a true and perennial stranger, is the feeling of strange in itself strange?
What I mean to ask is this.
To the husbander, to the steward of a property, a section of land is home.
To the wanderer, to those who's house is between houses, is their home not more grand?
Doesn't it include the land that other people call their homes?
Point in case.
If I give up all that is 'MINE'
does 'YOURS' lose it's ownership?
I don't believe, objectively.
(I just like saying that)
I was called fay today. = vaguely otherworldly.
I can dig it.
The rhyme to my rap sounds a lot different than how other people speak.
Sometimes that bothers me.
But then I listen to what they have to say.
Paradox resolved.
Well, that's settled.
To a stranger, everything is strange. So you start to wonder.
To a true and perennial stranger, is the feeling of strange in itself strange?
What I mean to ask is this.
To the husbander, to the steward of a property, a section of land is home.
To the wanderer, to those who's house is between houses, is their home not more grand?
Doesn't it include the land that other people call their homes?
Point in case.
If I give up all that is 'MINE'
does 'YOURS' lose it's ownership?
I don't believe, objectively.
(I just like saying that)
I was called fay today. = vaguely otherworldly.
I can dig it.
The rhyme to my rap sounds a lot different than how other people speak.
Sometimes that bothers me.
But then I listen to what they have to say.
Paradox resolved.
Well, that's settled.
Sunday, September 25, 2011
a thousand thousand.
Not angry about anger.
Not sad about sadness.
Not frantic in a rush.
Not quiet about quiet.
No motion in movement.
The supreme virtue Om.
Recall a recollection?
Not sad about sadness.
Not frantic in a rush.
Not quiet about quiet.
No motion in movement.
The supreme virtue Om.
Recall a recollection?
Wednesday, September 21, 2011
Joke's on you
Thinking quickly.
I think I began intentionally speeding up the way I think when I became a showman among my friends. I guess I was 12 or so at the time and I was fiercely competitive when it came to being the center of attention. I employed a few tricks to keep all eyes on me and I became exceedingly good at it. As a kid I was always incredibly outgoing; walking up to tables full of beautiful women and making them all laugh when I was about 5 or so. I had the entire wedding party for my uncle circle around me while I brake danced at about age 8. I've always been able to bend a crowd when I've wanted to.
First, I had to identify my audience. There were a number of different kinds of audience members. My favorite ones were the people I could bounce ideas around with to build momentum of a joke- these were often rather quick witted folks who at times may have had much better jokes than I did. I had a trick they didn't though, but I'll expand on that later.
The second best kind of person to have watching you, believe it or not, are the slightly disinterested people. They are the ones that will pay the most attention if you grab them. They are also the ones that will end up referring other people and expanding the audience.
The very worst kind is the poor comedians. The ones who drag down the momentum with poorly crafted, poorly timed, or obvious jokes- often ones that are in bad taste. The up side is if you're of the persuasion, you can ridicule them to no end and they will stick around for the opportunity to one-up you. If you anticipate a joke far enough away, you can even build up a counter joke and feed the obvious one to them. They use it, feel overjoyed at the success and then you trump them, regaining the popularity while giving them some of the limelight.
The various tricks I employed dealt mainly with flow of conversation and presentation of ideas. It really didn't matter WHAT I said as long as the flow was properly fixed. I could make even the most grumpy bastard piss themselves with the word "Potato." Really. I tried that once and tinkle was produced.
One of the tricks that set me apart from every other yukster I've ever met was that I'd immediately disregard the first joke that came to me. I'd sometimes even scrap the first three or five jokes that came up- for the sole reasons that 1) if you jump into a bit without a little bit of development it can often fall flat and, more importantly, 2) if you're in competition with another comedian and they use that immediate joke, you've got a number of other much better developed jokes just waiting.
My second signature trick was to multi-task a joke. I'd tell someone a joke that was confusing or detailed while I'd simultaneously steal something from them. A bunch of friends and I were sitting at a McDonalds and this low-brow humorist kept making really bad jokes. I decide it's time to really put the hurt on this one so I start feeding her poor jokes (that she would then 'come up with') but I'd continually change the premise. For example I'd set up a scenario and allow the chump to guess at the plot or punchline, changing things up drastically as I went. While I kept them guessing, I'd use physical humor. Tapping them on the shoulder, whatever I could to get them looking around the room. I'd unzip a backpack while they looked at the door, then take a hand full of decorative pens, pencil sharpeners... really anything they would recognize that was small. I'd stash this behind me or, even better, behind a friend.
Using this distraction and stash technique, I could continually keep SOMETHING of theirs with me at all times during this entire show. I'd make sure the audience forgot all the hiding places, or simply didn't see them at all. Every once in a while I'd either hand the mark something of theirs or put it in plain sight. Even better, hide it under something they would later pick up. Ever pick up a soda to find your keys? The perplexed look on their face would keep things going solid for hours on end. Confusion begets confusion so the more you did it, the easier it became.
I eventually stopped being such a showman because it ended up feeling really cheap. I didn't feel like I could go to a party or hang out WITHOUT acting like that. As if my friends didn't really want to see another side of me. When I stopped being the center of attention and stopped feeding that laugh-a-minute machine, I felt incredibly lonely and got depressed, often going days without talking to anyone. What got me most is that people wouldn't call me or ask me to go anywhere. It seemed like I had to initiate everything.
Now things are much better. Having done the hermit thing for a number of years, I'm content with laughing for my own sake. I don't need to share the joke anymore and you know what I've found? People come to me to see what is so funny. Beautiful women approach me every day on the bus just because I smile the most. It's one of the most rewarding feelings in the world because my laughter doesn't depend on anyone. It doesn't matter what YOU understand because at the end of the day...
Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.
I think I began intentionally speeding up the way I think when I became a showman among my friends. I guess I was 12 or so at the time and I was fiercely competitive when it came to being the center of attention. I employed a few tricks to keep all eyes on me and I became exceedingly good at it. As a kid I was always incredibly outgoing; walking up to tables full of beautiful women and making them all laugh when I was about 5 or so. I had the entire wedding party for my uncle circle around me while I brake danced at about age 8. I've always been able to bend a crowd when I've wanted to.
First, I had to identify my audience. There were a number of different kinds of audience members. My favorite ones were the people I could bounce ideas around with to build momentum of a joke- these were often rather quick witted folks who at times may have had much better jokes than I did. I had a trick they didn't though, but I'll expand on that later.
The second best kind of person to have watching you, believe it or not, are the slightly disinterested people. They are the ones that will pay the most attention if you grab them. They are also the ones that will end up referring other people and expanding the audience.
The very worst kind is the poor comedians. The ones who drag down the momentum with poorly crafted, poorly timed, or obvious jokes- often ones that are in bad taste. The up side is if you're of the persuasion, you can ridicule them to no end and they will stick around for the opportunity to one-up you. If you anticipate a joke far enough away, you can even build up a counter joke and feed the obvious one to them. They use it, feel overjoyed at the success and then you trump them, regaining the popularity while giving them some of the limelight.
The various tricks I employed dealt mainly with flow of conversation and presentation of ideas. It really didn't matter WHAT I said as long as the flow was properly fixed. I could make even the most grumpy bastard piss themselves with the word "Potato." Really. I tried that once and tinkle was produced.
One of the tricks that set me apart from every other yukster I've ever met was that I'd immediately disregard the first joke that came to me. I'd sometimes even scrap the first three or five jokes that came up- for the sole reasons that 1) if you jump into a bit without a little bit of development it can often fall flat and, more importantly, 2) if you're in competition with another comedian and they use that immediate joke, you've got a number of other much better developed jokes just waiting.
My second signature trick was to multi-task a joke. I'd tell someone a joke that was confusing or detailed while I'd simultaneously steal something from them. A bunch of friends and I were sitting at a McDonalds and this low-brow humorist kept making really bad jokes. I decide it's time to really put the hurt on this one so I start feeding her poor jokes (that she would then 'come up with') but I'd continually change the premise. For example I'd set up a scenario and allow the chump to guess at the plot or punchline, changing things up drastically as I went. While I kept them guessing, I'd use physical humor. Tapping them on the shoulder, whatever I could to get them looking around the room. I'd unzip a backpack while they looked at the door, then take a hand full of decorative pens, pencil sharpeners... really anything they would recognize that was small. I'd stash this behind me or, even better, behind a friend.
Using this distraction and stash technique, I could continually keep SOMETHING of theirs with me at all times during this entire show. I'd make sure the audience forgot all the hiding places, or simply didn't see them at all. Every once in a while I'd either hand the mark something of theirs or put it in plain sight. Even better, hide it under something they would later pick up. Ever pick up a soda to find your keys? The perplexed look on their face would keep things going solid for hours on end. Confusion begets confusion so the more you did it, the easier it became.
I eventually stopped being such a showman because it ended up feeling really cheap. I didn't feel like I could go to a party or hang out WITHOUT acting like that. As if my friends didn't really want to see another side of me. When I stopped being the center of attention and stopped feeding that laugh-a-minute machine, I felt incredibly lonely and got depressed, often going days without talking to anyone. What got me most is that people wouldn't call me or ask me to go anywhere. It seemed like I had to initiate everything.
Now things are much better. Having done the hermit thing for a number of years, I'm content with laughing for my own sake. I don't need to share the joke anymore and you know what I've found? People come to me to see what is so funny. Beautiful women approach me every day on the bus just because I smile the most. It's one of the most rewarding feelings in the world because my laughter doesn't depend on anyone. It doesn't matter what YOU understand because at the end of the day...
Fuck 'em if they can't take a joke.
Monday, September 12, 2011
Whatevas
It's as simple as "How are you doing?"
This question always throws me and I'm not always sure why.
It's not as simple as telling you, unless you're just looking to start conversation. Then I can pull that little introvert-turned-showman and charm the hell out of you- and I suppose that's just as much a part of any day as anything else. So I suppose that's how I'm doing- anyway.
What am I saying...
I'm doing well. This sounds like crap. But I haven't written in a while besides for school, which is fun. Anyway. This is pthft.
This question always throws me and I'm not always sure why.
It's not as simple as telling you, unless you're just looking to start conversation. Then I can pull that little introvert-turned-showman and charm the hell out of you- and I suppose that's just as much a part of any day as anything else. So I suppose that's how I'm doing- anyway.
What am I saying...
I'm doing well. This sounds like crap. But I haven't written in a while besides for school, which is fun. Anyway. This is pthft.
Wednesday, August 31, 2011
Computer is still fucked
It's only a virus, a ghost in the shell. Temporary possession that I can't afford to fix. It won't allow me to boot in safe mode. If only, if only, that glorious safe mode.
The best thing about this blog is I write what I'd like to read. Then I forget what I've written. Then I read it. Epic win.
I've been called 'cold' a number of times in the last week. Something about the measure of rationalization or speak of theory or philosophizing. In other news, I'm also voted "most empathetic," seems like the two are contradictory. OR perhaps it just emphasizes the feeling of coldness. "Yeah, I know what you mean and I still don't care" or something like that. I blame short attention spans. Those who are unwilling to commit to an actual look at what is happening. Flash judgements are in their hay day- and I all too often find myself stretched thin, heart'a'pounding over my appearance. It's stupid.
Then I find myself sitting in class with a headache because I'm not challenged and forced to sit through Dimwitty's presentation of whatever it is.
I read that the Amygdala is one of the first parts of the brain to receive information we process. As it's responsible for fear responses, it gives us that millisecond edge in the fight or flight response. The downside (and this is an oversimplification) is that we're prone to an overuse of emotional reasoning, which may lead to procrastination, as we yet haven't reached that nonlinear critical mass required to take the proper action in a situation.
I sit in class and passively digest the aura or feeling of a person. Often it's more about group behavior than individuals. It's funny how a larger ratio of individuals is needed to steer a small group than a large one. Cascade effects... oh I can feel it so vividly. The little streams of persuasion, trying to pool in and tip the cup-minds of those around it. It's not so much a virtue of language as it is liquid dynamics. Of course a tool is only as good as how you use it. I was very manipulative as a kid, and I don't agree with the ethics of that mode anymore. Instead of being made to happen, it should be allowed to happen. Let me explore that a little more.
To be allowed to happen.
Yes.
To make a thing, to synthesize it individually is to create from a position of an inferior force, for you will always personally make something that is less great than you are, unless it's a cooperation or group effort. Instead, focusing your attention to the natural and inherent rhythms of the world will allow your action to take multi-fold effects upon the desired way. Waves, when the peaks match the peaks and the troughs match the troughs, etc. You feed into the momentum of an action to increase the swing of a pendulum. This is why a person on a swing can increase his or her momentum without being pushed. You, unaided by outside forces, can use proper leverage to achieve a desired result.
Oh, that damned problem of leverage.
If you're not in a community that cares for the things you do or does not move towards your desired ends, this can be a problem. Anyway, I'm explaining too much of too little an idea. Overkill. Good to get it out though.
The best thing about this blog is I write what I'd like to read. Then I forget what I've written. Then I read it. Epic win.
I've been called 'cold' a number of times in the last week. Something about the measure of rationalization or speak of theory or philosophizing. In other news, I'm also voted "most empathetic," seems like the two are contradictory. OR perhaps it just emphasizes the feeling of coldness. "Yeah, I know what you mean and I still don't care" or something like that. I blame short attention spans. Those who are unwilling to commit to an actual look at what is happening. Flash judgements are in their hay day- and I all too often find myself stretched thin, heart'a'pounding over my appearance. It's stupid.
Then I find myself sitting in class with a headache because I'm not challenged and forced to sit through Dimwitty's presentation of whatever it is.
I read that the Amygdala is one of the first parts of the brain to receive information we process. As it's responsible for fear responses, it gives us that millisecond edge in the fight or flight response. The downside (and this is an oversimplification) is that we're prone to an overuse of emotional reasoning, which may lead to procrastination, as we yet haven't reached that nonlinear critical mass required to take the proper action in a situation.
I sit in class and passively digest the aura or feeling of a person. Often it's more about group behavior than individuals. It's funny how a larger ratio of individuals is needed to steer a small group than a large one. Cascade effects... oh I can feel it so vividly. The little streams of persuasion, trying to pool in and tip the cup-minds of those around it. It's not so much a virtue of language as it is liquid dynamics. Of course a tool is only as good as how you use it. I was very manipulative as a kid, and I don't agree with the ethics of that mode anymore. Instead of being made to happen, it should be allowed to happen. Let me explore that a little more.
To be allowed to happen.
Yes.
To make a thing, to synthesize it individually is to create from a position of an inferior force, for you will always personally make something that is less great than you are, unless it's a cooperation or group effort. Instead, focusing your attention to the natural and inherent rhythms of the world will allow your action to take multi-fold effects upon the desired way. Waves, when the peaks match the peaks and the troughs match the troughs, etc. You feed into the momentum of an action to increase the swing of a pendulum. This is why a person on a swing can increase his or her momentum without being pushed. You, unaided by outside forces, can use proper leverage to achieve a desired result.
Oh, that damned problem of leverage.
If you're not in a community that cares for the things you do or does not move towards your desired ends, this can be a problem. Anyway, I'm explaining too much of too little an idea. Overkill. Good to get it out though.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Pulling your own weight.
During this past weekend I took a road trip down to the LA area with two friends from Crossfit Monterey, Oly lifter Shareef Fahmy and coach Jacob Tsypkin to go watch the Crossfit 2011 games. One night we met up with Jake's friend Serge at a place called the Yard House (get the BBQ bacon cheddar burger, it's one of the best I've ever had).
Anyway, this guy that was with us, Rob, he convinced the only person at our table that wasn't a lifter to explain some of his personal beliefs. Rob also displaces the most space out of anyone at the table. He's kind of a big guy and this non-lifter Matt doesn't exactly displace a lot of other matter.
I'm pretty sure his name was Matt. Someone there was named Matt.
So this guy Matt goes on about how his biggest pet peeve- the thing that irks him most- that which twists his panties in the greatest angle of rotation... is the growing stratification of class in this country. He made some good points: mainly that the issue is largely systemic, but then he started talking some bullshit. Basically, as I understand it, he was promoting various welfare-like systems, such as rich people providing for poor people. Charity cases.
People started yelling, there were a couple personal threats made in really poor fashion (racial insults said to some rather large people)... a lot of poor dialog because we were all a little drunk and talking about politics. I was a little too in love with my meal to say much besides "om nom nom" and "oh my god, this burger..." and "the fuck... did he really?" so I thought I'd explain my thoughts on the issue of the segregation of rich and poor peoples.
I'm a big fan of small government. The role of government should be reduced to it's smallest role possible, and not more or less than that. I'm a big fan of the "teach a man to fish" approach. Provide the tools that people ask for- for they cannot and will not use the methods and means that they are not inspired towards. In that end, I act in a way I believe is best, and as a side effect, I show people around me ways to live more properly if they like what I'm doing.
If your situation is crap, don't worry. Take that crap situation and make it excellent. That's alchemy. That's worth doing. One of the only things worth doing.
If you're poor, put more weight on the bar.
Anyway, this guy that was with us, Rob, he convinced the only person at our table that wasn't a lifter to explain some of his personal beliefs. Rob also displaces the most space out of anyone at the table. He's kind of a big guy and this non-lifter Matt doesn't exactly displace a lot of other matter.
I'm pretty sure his name was Matt. Someone there was named Matt.
So this guy Matt goes on about how his biggest pet peeve- the thing that irks him most- that which twists his panties in the greatest angle of rotation... is the growing stratification of class in this country. He made some good points: mainly that the issue is largely systemic, but then he started talking some bullshit. Basically, as I understand it, he was promoting various welfare-like systems, such as rich people providing for poor people. Charity cases.
People started yelling, there were a couple personal threats made in really poor fashion (racial insults said to some rather large people)... a lot of poor dialog because we were all a little drunk and talking about politics. I was a little too in love with my meal to say much besides "om nom nom" and "oh my god, this burger..." and "the fuck... did he really?" so I thought I'd explain my thoughts on the issue of the segregation of rich and poor peoples.
I'm a big fan of small government. The role of government should be reduced to it's smallest role possible, and not more or less than that. I'm a big fan of the "teach a man to fish" approach. Provide the tools that people ask for- for they cannot and will not use the methods and means that they are not inspired towards. In that end, I act in a way I believe is best, and as a side effect, I show people around me ways to live more properly if they like what I'm doing.
If your situation is crap, don't worry. Take that crap situation and make it excellent. That's alchemy. That's worth doing. One of the only things worth doing.
If you're poor, put more weight on the bar.
Monday, July 18, 2011
Matter of fact
So you go for a walk for some rare and distant thing. As you get closer to it, you realize that you yourself have become a rare and distant thing.
That's what you call a kick in the pants. Point of realization. And so you look around, realizing, once you've become your own rare and distant thing, you haven't traveled a mile. Oh, well then, where am I?
So you call out to your buddies. Point of realization. Volume turns to whispers across the vast plains of communication. Standing right in the face of a brother, shouting for all your worth, and all that comes out is a sob. A gasp. A stammer. Do my words fail me? Am I speaking at all? Have I put out my brother's hearing? Have I blinded him? Have I done some wrong? Why do they look at me this way? Do I not make sense?
So one learns to sit still. Folded under by one's own violence, one finds peace. One finds the infinite, the inevitable. One becomes patient. One recognizes the omens, learns to read the world, finds a voice beyond voice- learns to walk again in the garden of the eternal.
At first I was ignorant, guided by humor and the sideways glances of a wild animal. The snarl, the catch in the smoothness of the pelt. The snaggletooth that lets you feel the bite. I was caught and I believed I understood.
The flood of the tundra before me took hold. It's the grip of ice water against your chest, around your neck. I was caught and I believed I understood.
You see, there is something one must always keep in mind. Observation must be shallow in order to be understood. So we sample, we taste around, we shut out the vastness. The thing I call the tundra. We learn very little this way- outside of the flurry.
Language is useless if you have no experience of it. It's not a gift I can give. One can only take it for themselves- by taking that stroll. By wandering into the jungle, looking for that fierceness.
And at a point, the drive you have to know will be matched by the drive of the thing to stay hidden. You will be tested. It is at that critical moment, that beautiful moment, you will know what you're made of. Break past that point... and you'll know what to do at the next one.
There is always a next one, but that's ok. Keep at it.
That's what you call a kick in the pants. Point of realization. And so you look around, realizing, once you've become your own rare and distant thing, you haven't traveled a mile. Oh, well then, where am I?
So you call out to your buddies. Point of realization. Volume turns to whispers across the vast plains of communication. Standing right in the face of a brother, shouting for all your worth, and all that comes out is a sob. A gasp. A stammer. Do my words fail me? Am I speaking at all? Have I put out my brother's hearing? Have I blinded him? Have I done some wrong? Why do they look at me this way? Do I not make sense?
So one learns to sit still. Folded under by one's own violence, one finds peace. One finds the infinite, the inevitable. One becomes patient. One recognizes the omens, learns to read the world, finds a voice beyond voice- learns to walk again in the garden of the eternal.
At first I was ignorant, guided by humor and the sideways glances of a wild animal. The snarl, the catch in the smoothness of the pelt. The snaggletooth that lets you feel the bite. I was caught and I believed I understood.
The flood of the tundra before me took hold. It's the grip of ice water against your chest, around your neck. I was caught and I believed I understood.
You see, there is something one must always keep in mind. Observation must be shallow in order to be understood. So we sample, we taste around, we shut out the vastness. The thing I call the tundra. We learn very little this way- outside of the flurry.
Language is useless if you have no experience of it. It's not a gift I can give. One can only take it for themselves- by taking that stroll. By wandering into the jungle, looking for that fierceness.
And at a point, the drive you have to know will be matched by the drive of the thing to stay hidden. You will be tested. It is at that critical moment, that beautiful moment, you will know what you're made of. Break past that point... and you'll know what to do at the next one.
There is always a next one, but that's ok. Keep at it.
It's ok.
Steve is laughing at Joe because Joe doesn't know how to cook a proper meal.
Joe is laughing at Steve because he could easily kill Steve with a fork.
I'm laughing at them both because if Joe kills Steve, I'm the only one that will be able to eat him.
And we're all standing here, laughing at each other.
No one knows where Mikey is, but we're all certain we know where he isn't.
And we're all standing here, laughing at each other.
Joe is laughing at Steve because he could easily kill Steve with a fork.
I'm laughing at them both because if Joe kills Steve, I'm the only one that will be able to eat him.
And we're all standing here, laughing at each other.
No one knows where Mikey is, but we're all certain we know where he isn't.
And we're all standing here, laughing at each other.
Tuesday, July 12, 2011
Napalm in the morning
Brush my teeth with a hammer.
I'm tired of the view.
----
It wouldn't do me well to tally out the times I've been called offensive, or vulgar, or shameless, or indifferent, or cold, or impatient, ... or the most interesting person [x] has ever met.
I live in a manner that most can't imagine. I know. I've asked them. And it isn't that the things I see are more spectacular or that I'm any better at a task or any smarter than the average bear. I live in a state that affords more wonder and awe- the heart of true art and true science, Albert would write. Incredibly humble guy, or so I read. He reads like a guy of great capacity for patience, and that's why I admire him.
A co-worker complained that I become short tempered towards the end of my shift. Perhaps it's due that I'm spending my early mornings (12-8) at Target. Today a manager told me I was a good worker. A good worker. Like I'm a fucking leaf-cutter ant. I had half a mind to tell him it was my latent negro blood, just to watch his reaction. I can't stand being called a good worker. It seems like a reduction. This PERSON is a GOOD WORKER. I try to remember that my life has been rich and diverse and that other people, regardless of personal traits, intelligence or capacity have very similar rich and diverse lifetimes. Oh, you've climbed kilimanjaro? I had soup and crackers for lunch. Howaboutthat? You were the class president? I banged the valedictorian. Moot points.
----
ShockTrooperOfGodLikeWhoa.
----
Birthdays a plenty.
As if I only have a day!
With every breath.
I celebrate. I love you.
Now lick my boot.
I'm tired of the view.
----
It wouldn't do me well to tally out the times I've been called offensive, or vulgar, or shameless, or indifferent, or cold, or impatient, ... or the most interesting person [x] has ever met.
I live in a manner that most can't imagine. I know. I've asked them. And it isn't that the things I see are more spectacular or that I'm any better at a task or any smarter than the average bear. I live in a state that affords more wonder and awe- the heart of true art and true science, Albert would write. Incredibly humble guy, or so I read. He reads like a guy of great capacity for patience, and that's why I admire him.
A co-worker complained that I become short tempered towards the end of my shift. Perhaps it's due that I'm spending my early mornings (12-8) at Target. Today a manager told me I was a good worker. A good worker. Like I'm a fucking leaf-cutter ant. I had half a mind to tell him it was my latent negro blood, just to watch his reaction. I can't stand being called a good worker. It seems like a reduction. This PERSON is a GOOD WORKER. I try to remember that my life has been rich and diverse and that other people, regardless of personal traits, intelligence or capacity have very similar rich and diverse lifetimes. Oh, you've climbed kilimanjaro? I had soup and crackers for lunch. Howaboutthat? You were the class president? I banged the valedictorian. Moot points.
----
ShockTrooperOfGodLikeWhoa.
----
Birthdays a plenty.
As if I only have a day!
With every breath.
I celebrate. I love you.
Now lick my boot.
Thursday, July 7, 2011
Quality of being
I'd define it as a relatively heightened perception of the world around them. It's marked by a fire in the spirit, regardless of the health or well being of the person for one may stumble harshly and still burn brightly. True excellence is born when the genius within a person is allowed to flourish through acts of selflessness.
Incredibly simple. Incredibly difficult.
Incredibly simple. Incredibly difficult.
Wednesday, June 29, 2011
Boom (Headshot!!?)
"Stop feeling bad about what you can’t change – it’s done."
Haven't been writing much, computer broke. Sucks real hard.
Reading:
• The Secret Teachings of Plants: The Intelligence of the Heart in the Direct Perception of Nature by Stephen Harrod Buhner
• The Taoist Classics, Volume 1: The Collected Translations of Thomas Cleary
• From Dictatorship to Democracy by Gene Sharp
Just finished:
• Complexity: the emerging science at the edge of order and chaos by M. Mitchell Waldrop
Suggested reading:
• Chaos: Making a New Science by James Gleick
• Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu (translation by Mitchell)
Listening to:
Various lectures given by Terence McKenna and some groovy jams by Mos Def
Haven't been writing much, computer broke. Sucks real hard.
Reading:
• The Secret Teachings of Plants: The Intelligence of the Heart in the Direct Perception of Nature by Stephen Harrod Buhner
• The Taoist Classics, Volume 1: The Collected Translations of Thomas Cleary
• From Dictatorship to Democracy by Gene Sharp
Just finished:
• Complexity: the emerging science at the edge of order and chaos by M. Mitchell Waldrop
Suggested reading:
• Chaos: Making a New Science by James Gleick
• Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu (translation by Mitchell)
Listening to:
Various lectures given by Terence McKenna and some groovy jams by Mos Def
Thursday, June 23, 2011
Water Conservation 101
I've lived so many thousands of lives. Reading some of my old poetry, it's interesting to revisit the places I've been. Today a friend asked me to tell him about myself. I honestly didn't know what to say. Which of these bits is I? Unsure. I am... Unsure.
The Blue Pinstripe
by ~satchell
My cell runs 8½ × 11
For I have been, rather abruptly,
committed to paper.
http://satchell.deviantart.com/
The Blue Pinstripe
by ~satchell
My cell runs 8½ × 11
For I have been, rather abruptly,
committed to paper.
http://satchell.deviantart.com/
Saturday, June 18, 2011
He was drawing a blank with a whole lot of crayons
> From the mud, man is born.
> Forged in the rock,
> He grows strong.
> Fed the seed of knowing,
> He grows bold.
> Given mettle as his core,
> He wanders away..
> Set adrift from precious earth,
> He dries out.
> Cohesion drains forth,
> He waters the land with his blood.
> The garden of Eden is born.
> His husk births the single tree,
> Of all dissent and misunderstanding.
-----
This brilliant engine, pumping away in my chest; I breathe in the sun.
> Forged in the rock,
> He grows strong.
> Fed the seed of knowing,
> He grows bold.
> Given mettle as his core,
> He wanders away..
> Set adrift from precious earth,
> He dries out.
> Cohesion drains forth,
> He waters the land with his blood.
> The garden of Eden is born.
> His husk births the single tree,
> Of all dissent and misunderstanding.
-----
This brilliant engine, pumping away in my chest; I breathe in the sun.
Friday, June 17, 2011
"Better"
The shrug of the grog- the violence of the change. Never once have I woken up under the tundra of the now wishing I was anyone or anywhere else. Bootstrap yourself up. Do it again. I may fail one thousand visceral times in a single breath but I'll never stop breathing before my time. There is no option other than just that...
BETTER. AGAIN. Thrown against the wall when I need to. Battered and literally dragging against the force of the world. Singing at that neon TILT and cursing it's name. I'll see you again and again and again, in good health and in poor condition, in the blazing glory of excellence or whimpering in a pile.
I will see you again.
If I were drawn and quartered, spread thin as it were, I've got 6 quarts of appreciation that this relationship isn't just skin deep. I'd Rorschach myself into something you could interpret a little easier. Read these tea leaves, whydontcha. That's 192 homies and if I had the pleasure to know that many excellent people I'd have an army. I'd march this band of miscreants a thundering and pounding (in the chest) and paint something a little better than the world. Create each person as a canvas and pass out the paints. Get a little messy. Get a little better.
I love because I know no other way
BETTER. AGAIN. Thrown against the wall when I need to. Battered and literally dragging against the force of the world. Singing at that neon TILT and cursing it's name. I'll see you again and again and again, in good health and in poor condition, in the blazing glory of excellence or whimpering in a pile.
I will see you again.
If I were drawn and quartered, spread thin as it were, I've got 6 quarts of appreciation that this relationship isn't just skin deep. I'd Rorschach myself into something you could interpret a little easier. Read these tea leaves, whydontcha. That's 192 homies and if I had the pleasure to know that many excellent people I'd have an army. I'd march this band of miscreants a thundering and pounding (in the chest) and paint something a little better than the world. Create each person as a canvas and pass out the paints. Get a little messy. Get a little better.
I love because I know no other way
Monday, June 13, 2011
And so it begins. The second Renascence- the genesis of another age.
We stand in this perfect world, this mathematically exact and deterministic universe- and yet, there is suffering. It's a really good thing to think about, that suffering business. Mostly it stems from the pleasure/pain dynamic, which essentially is the obsession with the desired/undesired draw. We obsess over 'personal' nature and strengthen the aspect of the ego which is "self" in order to build stronger associations with these trivial personality traits.
The draw to the "I" self is due to the obsession over pleasure and pain.
I care less about what happens, my associations free up, you start to learn faster.
The whole draw towards religion is based on this idea of grace. "All we hope for is a little bit of grace", the grace of god, the elegance of divine action. If you look up the word grace, it starts to talk about excellence- another divine virtue. Basically it has to do with efficiency, which is getting the most out of your input in any given system. I use the word efficiency because it's useful language in many disciplines. It's not the most elegant, but it gets the message across.
The emergence of religion looks the same as the emergence of any other system. It obeys the same laws and general principals. Yes, I can draw the similarities between your urge to scratch your nose and the advent of the combustion engine. That's another story all together.
The biggest issue is that the larger the scale you look at things, the less you're able to take from each individual place. The inherent limitation is that you're only able to communicate with the adjacent scales of reference in anything that resembles an honest way.
Genius has as much to do with genetic material as how that genetic material is taken care of during gestation. Typically marked by an excess of struggle and unusual almost radioactive brilliance. Genius is a pretty loaded word and I try to avoid it, but I'm referencing the Greek idea of the genii which was your guardian spirit that acted through you when fed properly. It would give you certain powers and was responsible for every creation of excellence from man. Every person was born with one and you fed it gifts of the self.
Get it now? Selfless acts, the movement away from the "I" sense, the distancing from the pleasure/pain dynamic and the such mark improvement as I have mentioned.
Sometimes distant and seemingly cold, uncaring- yet kindhearted and generous; honest to a fault, blunt, forward, high energy, high metabolism; unflinching humor, wit, sense of absurdity; intelligent, analytic, higher functioning logical processing, emotional, hedonistic, outspoken, high confidence. The list goes on.
Each variation of this story is due to localization of information and the individual lens it's told through. As a necessity any foundation is wider than the peak, as such, higher functioning people are less common and I don't mean to label an entire person as higher functioning, but parts of people who are better suited to excel.
Syncopation and eudaimonismos.
We stand in this perfect world, this mathematically exact and deterministic universe- and yet, there is suffering. It's a really good thing to think about, that suffering business. Mostly it stems from the pleasure/pain dynamic, which essentially is the obsession with the desired/undesired draw. We obsess over 'personal' nature and strengthen the aspect of the ego which is "self" in order to build stronger associations with these trivial personality traits.
The draw to the "I" self is due to the obsession over pleasure and pain.
I care less about what happens, my associations free up, you start to learn faster.
The whole draw towards religion is based on this idea of grace. "All we hope for is a little bit of grace", the grace of god, the elegance of divine action. If you look up the word grace, it starts to talk about excellence- another divine virtue. Basically it has to do with efficiency, which is getting the most out of your input in any given system. I use the word efficiency because it's useful language in many disciplines. It's not the most elegant, but it gets the message across.
The emergence of religion looks the same as the emergence of any other system. It obeys the same laws and general principals. Yes, I can draw the similarities between your urge to scratch your nose and the advent of the combustion engine. That's another story all together.
The biggest issue is that the larger the scale you look at things, the less you're able to take from each individual place. The inherent limitation is that you're only able to communicate with the adjacent scales of reference in anything that resembles an honest way.
Genius has as much to do with genetic material as how that genetic material is taken care of during gestation. Typically marked by an excess of struggle and unusual almost radioactive brilliance. Genius is a pretty loaded word and I try to avoid it, but I'm referencing the Greek idea of the genii which was your guardian spirit that acted through you when fed properly. It would give you certain powers and was responsible for every creation of excellence from man. Every person was born with one and you fed it gifts of the self.
Get it now? Selfless acts, the movement away from the "I" sense, the distancing from the pleasure/pain dynamic and the such mark improvement as I have mentioned.
Sometimes distant and seemingly cold, uncaring- yet kindhearted and generous; honest to a fault, blunt, forward, high energy, high metabolism; unflinching humor, wit, sense of absurdity; intelligent, analytic, higher functioning logical processing, emotional, hedonistic, outspoken, high confidence. The list goes on.
Each variation of this story is due to localization of information and the individual lens it's told through. As a necessity any foundation is wider than the peak, as such, higher functioning people are less common and I don't mean to label an entire person as higher functioning, but parts of people who are better suited to excel.
Syncopation and eudaimonismos.
Sunday, June 12, 2011
Look Left
It was interesting to see my family tonight. I remained basically unchanged throughout the night, despite how much I had to drink. People often tell me how little they see my behavior change when I'm inebriated. Writing, now, at the end of the night, I would expect to see little change in the meter or footprint of my writing. It's one in the morning, I've been sipping 12 year old scotch and you know what the last joke of the evening was? "You're funny because you don't care."
You know, but excuse me, I don't really care. I was laughing as my aunt told me the time she got two huge black eyes on her honey moon. I was, actually... the only one laughing... well, I laughed because she was standing there drinking champagne at her father-in-law's 90 year birthday. I'm sorry, but shit goes rather well. It's 1 in the morning and there are still bottles that remain unopened. We had as good a time as possible. We hit the fucking limit there. Shit is good right now so when you're telling me your sob story about a rather comedic adventure in China, I'm going to laugh.
Tonight the daughter of a woman who near broke her nose on a sliding glass door was sobbing at the sight of blood. I told the daughter that it was simply an accident. After realizing that this girl was going to continue to react this way regardless of what I did or said, I simply let her react as she would have. Get it out of your system. Morn the breaking of your mother's skin- whatever the shit you have to do! Get on with it! I've suffered enough in my life to recognize when someone just has to bitch. You know, go for it. Get it all out. People just walk up to me and tell me their life stories because I understand them.
Ok, yeah, I did that too. I get that. I understand that. That fucking hurt. Yeah, I did that just last week. I actually experience quite a number of what my friend bring to me. I've been through quite a lot and I think my indifference seems to express to people that I have nothing to add. This is quite the opposite. I know what you're experiencing so I know you can survive it. I also know, for having survived it, that you will learn something valuable from it.
I understand you're cutesy little social gestures. I know when someone wants to sleep with me. I know when someone is trying suggest something without outright saying it. Nine out of ten times, I know what you fucking mean to say when you don't really say it. I know the exact metabolic structures that are effected when you drink and how it effects your behavior- you know donkeys eat fermented fruit in Africa? They stumble around like- well, jackasses. I understand this and I just don't fucking care.
There are thousands of mannerisms that will give someone away. Each person I come in contact with, I download a copy of each set of behaviors and tell-signs. Ten seconds in to any conversation, I can tell, with 80% certainty, exactly the set of emotions and thoughts you're presently experiencing. I have no idea how to market this skill set, or any way to make money on this, but I'm sure I could if I cared more about money. Frankly, it's a more or less useless substance beyond a certain scale of application. If I have food in my belly and a roof over my head, shit is fucking grand. I don't need 12 year old scotch or fancy lobster ravioli (though they were fucking spectacular), I just need X, and that is achieved with very fucking little. I could live, fully supported, by the financing of a single uncle or aunt without causing any discomfort. I could live on ritz crackers and $1 chili. Seriously, I know where to get the deals.
I am both terrified and confidant about my trip to LA. I could fucking excel. I could rule the fucking world on the skill-set I have; or I could totally live in abject poverty. That is far from the truth, but it gives you a perspective on the range I live in. What I do tomorrow could end in total failure with no hope of redemption, or I could totally walk on the moon with what I got. John Malcovich explains this phenomenon beautifully in an interview I saw him in.
And you know what? I'm not fucking stupid. I've got this knowledge on fucking lockdown. This kid at work was talking shit and I turned to him and straight up said "let me spit some knowledge on a fool"- you know, educate some folks. Keep in mind, this is a team who's sole application process is dependent on capability of operating a tape measure. Excuse me? I've known how to FUCKING MEASURE shit since I could calculate. My depth perception is shit, but I know how tall I am and I can gauge quite a number of things without really thinking about it. I don't think people quite understand my ability to really address the situation at hand. Boom, a clearly defined problem and an even easier solution. Yeah, what the fuck ever, you'll make it till tomorrow. My hands are decorated with splinters, scabs, scrapes and bruises. No one today noticed and it wouldn't much matter if they did.
I fucking work. I take on 40 hours a week at Target and then take care of my uncle, my grandfather, my neurotic family and my own host of issues. I expend more energy than most people I know but do you know what hey see? They see a kid sitting still, practicing being silent, otherwise being a bore and killing the party. Excuse me but your party sucked to begin with. It died on it's own volition. I'm speaking to certain parts of the party tonight, not the party in it's entirety. I had a rather large amount of fun tonight, though few would be able to see that. I find that the people I get along with best are those that are introspective enough to sit quietly. They listen, they are able to provide adequate and honest feedback. They don't much care for the rumble of the nonsense because they have the patience and experience to deal with the situation at hand. I enjoy the company of the integral and mature. I enjoy people who can stand fearless against those who do bad unto them. I dig folks who are not easily swayed- who dance that balance between chaos and order- those who understand strife and actively challenge me.
I don't see anything wrong with that.
Excuse me, I don't care.
Do what you will.
You know, but excuse me, I don't really care. I was laughing as my aunt told me the time she got two huge black eyes on her honey moon. I was, actually... the only one laughing... well, I laughed because she was standing there drinking champagne at her father-in-law's 90 year birthday. I'm sorry, but shit goes rather well. It's 1 in the morning and there are still bottles that remain unopened. We had as good a time as possible. We hit the fucking limit there. Shit is good right now so when you're telling me your sob story about a rather comedic adventure in China, I'm going to laugh.
Tonight the daughter of a woman who near broke her nose on a sliding glass door was sobbing at the sight of blood. I told the daughter that it was simply an accident. After realizing that this girl was going to continue to react this way regardless of what I did or said, I simply let her react as she would have. Get it out of your system. Morn the breaking of your mother's skin- whatever the shit you have to do! Get on with it! I've suffered enough in my life to recognize when someone just has to bitch. You know, go for it. Get it all out. People just walk up to me and tell me their life stories because I understand them.
Ok, yeah, I did that too. I get that. I understand that. That fucking hurt. Yeah, I did that just last week. I actually experience quite a number of what my friend bring to me. I've been through quite a lot and I think my indifference seems to express to people that I have nothing to add. This is quite the opposite. I know what you're experiencing so I know you can survive it. I also know, for having survived it, that you will learn something valuable from it.
I understand you're cutesy little social gestures. I know when someone wants to sleep with me. I know when someone is trying suggest something without outright saying it. Nine out of ten times, I know what you fucking mean to say when you don't really say it. I know the exact metabolic structures that are effected when you drink and how it effects your behavior- you know donkeys eat fermented fruit in Africa? They stumble around like- well, jackasses. I understand this and I just don't fucking care.
There are thousands of mannerisms that will give someone away. Each person I come in contact with, I download a copy of each set of behaviors and tell-signs. Ten seconds in to any conversation, I can tell, with 80% certainty, exactly the set of emotions and thoughts you're presently experiencing. I have no idea how to market this skill set, or any way to make money on this, but I'm sure I could if I cared more about money. Frankly, it's a more or less useless substance beyond a certain scale of application. If I have food in my belly and a roof over my head, shit is fucking grand. I don't need 12 year old scotch or fancy lobster ravioli (though they were fucking spectacular), I just need X, and that is achieved with very fucking little. I could live, fully supported, by the financing of a single uncle or aunt without causing any discomfort. I could live on ritz crackers and $1 chili. Seriously, I know where to get the deals.
I am both terrified and confidant about my trip to LA. I could fucking excel. I could rule the fucking world on the skill-set I have; or I could totally live in abject poverty. That is far from the truth, but it gives you a perspective on the range I live in. What I do tomorrow could end in total failure with no hope of redemption, or I could totally walk on the moon with what I got. John Malcovich explains this phenomenon beautifully in an interview I saw him in.
And you know what? I'm not fucking stupid. I've got this knowledge on fucking lockdown. This kid at work was talking shit and I turned to him and straight up said "let me spit some knowledge on a fool"- you know, educate some folks. Keep in mind, this is a team who's sole application process is dependent on capability of operating a tape measure. Excuse me? I've known how to FUCKING MEASURE shit since I could calculate. My depth perception is shit, but I know how tall I am and I can gauge quite a number of things without really thinking about it. I don't think people quite understand my ability to really address the situation at hand. Boom, a clearly defined problem and an even easier solution. Yeah, what the fuck ever, you'll make it till tomorrow. My hands are decorated with splinters, scabs, scrapes and bruises. No one today noticed and it wouldn't much matter if they did.
I fucking work. I take on 40 hours a week at Target and then take care of my uncle, my grandfather, my neurotic family and my own host of issues. I expend more energy than most people I know but do you know what hey see? They see a kid sitting still, practicing being silent, otherwise being a bore and killing the party. Excuse me but your party sucked to begin with. It died on it's own volition. I'm speaking to certain parts of the party tonight, not the party in it's entirety. I had a rather large amount of fun tonight, though few would be able to see that. I find that the people I get along with best are those that are introspective enough to sit quietly. They listen, they are able to provide adequate and honest feedback. They don't much care for the rumble of the nonsense because they have the patience and experience to deal with the situation at hand. I enjoy the company of the integral and mature. I enjoy people who can stand fearless against those who do bad unto them. I dig folks who are not easily swayed- who dance that balance between chaos and order- those who understand strife and actively challenge me.
I don't see anything wrong with that.
Excuse me, I don't care.
Do what you will.
Friday, June 10, 2011
yin and yang
At one point I broke down crying, begging my mother not to institutionalize me. At the time, my worst fear was to resign myself to a person or system that knew less about what went on in my head than I did. No one in my family, or anyone I knew, had any intention of "sending me off". If anything, they just thought I was a little strange and, at worst, a tad depressed.
It boarders on a religious experience. I talk about it in terms of spirituality- other people call it God. I really don't care how I talk about it as long as I get the message across. The lotus erupting through the mud. It's a self-catalytic set and it's beautiful.
It boarders on a religious experience. I talk about it in terms of spirituality- other people call it God. I really don't care how I talk about it as long as I get the message across. The lotus erupting through the mud. It's a self-catalytic set and it's beautiful.
Friday, June 3, 2011
quick
For me, going into a new situation brings totally different networks of ideas. I could start sweeping and visually see all the different networks associated with sweeping. It's zen. The feel of the handle, the reaction against the floor, the dispersement of dust and the such.
Each person I talk with, every motion I do, I'm continually editing my experience and measuring reactions. I like working in teams because it's more efficient. I enjoy conservancy of energy. I really love to learn things. I love working with my hands for that tactile experience. People don't like to walk barefoot, but I used to all the time- out on the a'a lava of hawaii.
With each experience, this network appears. I can visualize my neurobiology and actively change it. When I was a kid, I was amazed that my parents wouldn't let me do certain things. I learned how to knife fight when I was five years old, yet I didn't start to curse until I was 13. I realize I curse too much now. That's going to change. See, all of metacognition studies tell us that we first must understand our behavior before we can change it. Honesty allows us to accurately see what is going on- to remove ourselves from the situation. The problem is I don't know anybody like me. I have no group to go run to. Every spiritual practice eventually runs into some silly little story to obsess over. The excellence of sports are killed in the presentation; the media is all about red verses blue instead of the actual struggle that is the sport. etc.
It's easy for me to deduce things otherwise undiscovered. Every time I seem to join in any team activity, I provide something essential, even if the others don't recognize it. I don't care to flaunt what I can do, for the simple reason that the action is the virtue, not the opinion of it. I like to keep this little journal but it's only a single beam of light from a round diamond.
Each person I talk with, every motion I do, I'm continually editing my experience and measuring reactions. I like working in teams because it's more efficient. I enjoy conservancy of energy. I really love to learn things. I love working with my hands for that tactile experience. People don't like to walk barefoot, but I used to all the time- out on the a'a lava of hawaii.
With each experience, this network appears. I can visualize my neurobiology and actively change it. When I was a kid, I was amazed that my parents wouldn't let me do certain things. I learned how to knife fight when I was five years old, yet I didn't start to curse until I was 13. I realize I curse too much now. That's going to change. See, all of metacognition studies tell us that we first must understand our behavior before we can change it. Honesty allows us to accurately see what is going on- to remove ourselves from the situation. The problem is I don't know anybody like me. I have no group to go run to. Every spiritual practice eventually runs into some silly little story to obsess over. The excellence of sports are killed in the presentation; the media is all about red verses blue instead of the actual struggle that is the sport. etc.
It's easy for me to deduce things otherwise undiscovered. Every time I seem to join in any team activity, I provide something essential, even if the others don't recognize it. I don't care to flaunt what I can do, for the simple reason that the action is the virtue, not the opinion of it. I like to keep this little journal but it's only a single beam of light from a round diamond.
Zip zap zop
Double-tap on a missed beat. Snuffed candle on-screen.
i can haz chezburger?
Parking break on a fixed speed bicycle.
Pedaling backwards anyway.
Can't stop the beat.
It's wrong and I'm loving it.
i can haz chezburger?
Parking break on a fixed speed bicycle.
Pedaling backwards anyway.
Can't stop the beat.
It's wrong and I'm loving it.
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Lacking
http://www.larouchepac.com/node/18273
Watch that video. ^^^
For me, it is really difficult to listen to that kind of political talk. I'm not political at all. It's very difficult for me to be. I know, very specifically my philosophical stance but I don't know how to apply that into politics. I can HEAR when it is being applied, which makes it easy to align to certain policy, I don't know how to create policy. I think it's important to learn how to write in legal format so people in that industry of politics will not have any question as to what you want. Not complicated in the slightest, but legally written.
Even though I know what I want to say, I don't know how to say it in that language. I could explain it in terms of biology, physical systems, physics, neurology or behavior, but I don't know the language I could best use. I don't have that tool.
Watch that video. ^^^
For me, it is really difficult to listen to that kind of political talk. I'm not political at all. It's very difficult for me to be. I know, very specifically my philosophical stance but I don't know how to apply that into politics. I can HEAR when it is being applied, which makes it easy to align to certain policy, I don't know how to create policy. I think it's important to learn how to write in legal format so people in that industry of politics will not have any question as to what you want. Not complicated in the slightest, but legally written.
Even though I know what I want to say, I don't know how to say it in that language. I could explain it in terms of biology, physical systems, physics, neurology or behavior, but I don't know the language I could best use. I don't have that tool.
Tuesday, May 31, 2011
Saturday, May 28, 2011
Ain't that a trip.
hi there sweets. how have you been?
tired. mostly. you?
Learning mostly. And searching for balance.
how so, lady?
Well I've learned a lot about myself. And I've taken a lot of weight off my shoulders recently. Ya know... cleanin out the closet and purifying the spirit. I haven't balanced all my elements yet.
But I'm close to being at peace with myself.
I hear a lot of people going through that same thing right now
I've become fascinated with self editing.
how so?
I can change every aspect of myself. Cept maybe my natural born instincts. Haven't tried that yet. It's exhilarating honestly. I can be anything.
My problem is focusing on one thing at a time. I'm sporadic. What I get for being born a dire sign.
do you have a practice?
Fire*
What you mean?
well some people call it a spiritual practice, but really, it's any kind of practice. I have a friend that expresses the same sentiment you are now talking about. his practice is lifting weights.
know what I mean?
In that case I have many practices. I write I walk I meditate I use deep breathing. I sing in the shower and I wake up a new person every new day. Recently I have gotten into the tarot. I'm getting my own cards soon. I'm excited.
it certainly helps to have some sort of discipline to it.
I have a mix of crossfit (olympic lifting, squats, etc), a hermetic tradition (which is what inspired the first renaissance) and taoism
I say the first renaissance because I think this is the second one, right now
well it certainly does help to have discipline. that is one aspect of myself i'm still working on. you know me, i've got works in progress laying around everywhere. but i don't like routine. it makes me yawn.
routine is destructive
so i try and mix it up. find something new every day to teach me something about myself.
or i go through phases.
what I like about crossfit is that it's anti-routine. there are some pillars of truth that I lean on to help me develop in the way I want to go
first, honesty. if i'm honest about how I feel or how I act, I can change it much easier. good feedback improves the quality of assessing what has to change
I use my sixth sense. I'm not sure what else to call it. There's this force inside me that lets me know when I'm headed in the right direction. Women's intuition may let me down sometimes, but faith in Karma and the ability to find a silver lining in every situation keeps me going.
right now i'm at a crossroads, though, honestly. i have some choices to make, but i'm not sure what i want, yet.
it's always a crossroads. haha
well, i say crossroads, but really i feel like...
i've been wandering in the middle of the forest for some years, just gathering all kinds of experience and shit, and now here i am in the middle of a clearing, this little circle where everything outside of it is constantly shifting and changing depending on which way i turn and with what sort of attitude and ambitions.
i can go anywhere i want to but the problem is i don't know where i want to go.
i'm not lost or anything, i just don't know what i wanna be when i grow up.
what do you want to be right now?
I wanna be a lot of things, actually. I just don't know where to start.
I wanna be immortal.
That one I got down, though.
I just gotta keep writing. After all, writing makes me The Voice Of Creation.
And it will make me immortal some day.
where are you getting this language?
What do you mean?
the "voice of creation", wanting to be immortal, editing yourself... are you reading this somewhere?
nope. all me.
Actually, I'm getting a tattoo that has to do with The Voice Of Creation.
you'd be surprised how close what you're saying is to many thousand year old practices. it's quite entertaining.
tired. mostly. you?
Learning mostly. And searching for balance.
how so, lady?
Well I've learned a lot about myself. And I've taken a lot of weight off my shoulders recently. Ya know... cleanin out the closet and purifying the spirit. I haven't balanced all my elements yet.
But I'm close to being at peace with myself.
I hear a lot of people going through that same thing right now
I've become fascinated with self editing.
how so?
I can change every aspect of myself. Cept maybe my natural born instincts. Haven't tried that yet. It's exhilarating honestly. I can be anything.
My problem is focusing on one thing at a time. I'm sporadic. What I get for being born a dire sign.
do you have a practice?
Fire*
What you mean?
well some people call it a spiritual practice, but really, it's any kind of practice. I have a friend that expresses the same sentiment you are now talking about. his practice is lifting weights.
know what I mean?
In that case I have many practices. I write I walk I meditate I use deep breathing. I sing in the shower and I wake up a new person every new day. Recently I have gotten into the tarot. I'm getting my own cards soon. I'm excited.
it certainly helps to have some sort of discipline to it.
I have a mix of crossfit (olympic lifting, squats, etc), a hermetic tradition (which is what inspired the first renaissance) and taoism
I say the first renaissance because I think this is the second one, right now
well it certainly does help to have discipline. that is one aspect of myself i'm still working on. you know me, i've got works in progress laying around everywhere. but i don't like routine. it makes me yawn.
routine is destructive
so i try and mix it up. find something new every day to teach me something about myself.
or i go through phases.
what I like about crossfit is that it's anti-routine. there are some pillars of truth that I lean on to help me develop in the way I want to go
first, honesty. if i'm honest about how I feel or how I act, I can change it much easier. good feedback improves the quality of assessing what has to change
I use my sixth sense. I'm not sure what else to call it. There's this force inside me that lets me know when I'm headed in the right direction. Women's intuition may let me down sometimes, but faith in Karma and the ability to find a silver lining in every situation keeps me going.
right now i'm at a crossroads, though, honestly. i have some choices to make, but i'm not sure what i want, yet.
it's always a crossroads. haha
well, i say crossroads, but really i feel like...
i've been wandering in the middle of the forest for some years, just gathering all kinds of experience and shit, and now here i am in the middle of a clearing, this little circle where everything outside of it is constantly shifting and changing depending on which way i turn and with what sort of attitude and ambitions.
i can go anywhere i want to but the problem is i don't know where i want to go.
i'm not lost or anything, i just don't know what i wanna be when i grow up.
what do you want to be right now?
I wanna be a lot of things, actually. I just don't know where to start.
I wanna be immortal.
That one I got down, though.
I just gotta keep writing. After all, writing makes me The Voice Of Creation.
And it will make me immortal some day.
where are you getting this language?
What do you mean?
the "voice of creation", wanting to be immortal, editing yourself... are you reading this somewhere?
nope. all me.
Actually, I'm getting a tattoo that has to do with The Voice Of Creation.
you'd be surprised how close what you're saying is to many thousand year old practices. it's quite entertaining.
Monday, May 23, 2011
I can't believe it's not butter.
"Free3 Wells Fargo MobileSM Banking4"
If you use three notations for five words, you're not communicating very efficiently. How about, fuck, I don't know... just "Free Banking" or maybe even just "Banking" and then, as soon as they enter the door, you could yell "Free Banking!"
You'd all get really good at it, too and every time I went to the bank, this orchestra of beautiful bankers will play me an ode to free banking.
No. No, instead I've got a PLATINUM DEBIT CARD.
Every time I look at the thing I want to vomit. Valid, Authorized, here is your PERSONAL NUMBER. Don't let anyone see it! Keep it hidden in your pants! Yes, I think we've all heard this before.
If you use three notations for five words, you're not communicating very efficiently. How about, fuck, I don't know... just "Free Banking" or maybe even just "Banking" and then, as soon as they enter the door, you could yell "Free Banking!"
You'd all get really good at it, too and every time I went to the bank, this orchestra of beautiful bankers will play me an ode to free banking.
No. No, instead I've got a PLATINUM DEBIT CARD.
Every time I look at the thing I want to vomit. Valid, Authorized, here is your PERSONAL NUMBER. Don't let anyone see it! Keep it hidden in your pants! Yes, I think we've all heard this before.
Mr. Clean
What are you going to practice today?
Cleaning room.
Yard work.
Helpfulness.
Diet.
On this path, there is no making it to LA. Step up.
The point where what you become, becomes part of you. I am the universe. There is no self. My god, I love cleaning.
Cleaning room.
Yard work.
Helpfulness.
Diet.
On this path, there is no making it to LA. Step up.
The point where what you become, becomes part of you. I am the universe. There is no self. My god, I love cleaning.
Hermes
You start to ask about the petty stuff. Wow, that was real dumb. You start to look at how much you ACTUALLY do verses how much you say. You start to notice the vast failures that you roll across. You look at all that and you realize the sheer quantity of petty action. It's not just sometimes poor, it's always poor. I'm capable of doing better in every moment of every day. We start to drive just a little bit faster, watch a little more television, build up virtual worlds- mock replicas, we obsess about the small stuff; we give up everything to just dull it out that much more.
You open your eyes and brave the tundra before you. Struck like a dear in headlights over the plumes of dust in your face. Rendered retarded by the perfectness of it's awesome mechanisms. You realize that in this world, where you get to only by personal honesty, you can adequately gage your actions and correct them. I just realized that the volume I listen to my music terrifies me. It's the sensitivity, it's the feeling of being naked again. My nose is wet and cold, so are my fingers. These clothes are not particularly comfortable and my room is a mess. Most people I know live in this state of personal apathy and do nothing about it. There are many things in my life I've let go of- some I've missed. I let the dishes pile up and it pisses me off. The funny thing is that when I'm doing the dishes- the actual act of it, I rather enjoy myself. The last time I did them I was kind of hoping I had made more of a mess to clean. BUT! The very moment before I do them, I think I will never want to do that.
I'm terrified of putting my self out there to a new person. I thought I was so incredibly honest but I met someone I'm interested in and I found that I couldn't say this in person. Most people think it's a little much to start off with on a first date. I don't think a person deserves the best of you until they can take the worst. With that on my mind, I realize that a first date is always going to end in abject horror. If you can't be your worst, you also can't be your best because that is a tower supported by the ugly underwork. I haven't written anything in a while, I don't really know why. I thought it was becoming too familiar. I could hack away at these keys and lie to myself all day. I wrote something the other day in surprise on how little of my writing is honest. Once praised for my honesty it seems I got caught in kind of a plateau of just being mediocre.
A friend of mine wrote that I was "only half way there"
It seems like no matter how high I go, I'm always half way there. Every time I find a place to rest, my resting self tells me about how horrible the last experience was. Basically it is the left side of the brain communicating with the right side. It's funny that only now are they talking in science of the conversation between order and chaos. Equilibrium economics is an absolute joke. I laugh any time someone tells me they are an economic student. Look, our economics just went into the shitter. By the time they find something that actually works, you've had studied, for four years or more, all the ways that don't work. I mean, last I heard, they were still teaching macro and micro. They have no idea how to work a magnitude of scale- or even why one effects the other. American history is the one of a model airplane crashing into the ground after five minutes of flight. Sure, the fireball was larger than the others, but there are still folks burning in here.
Thoreau says "
You open your eyes and brave the tundra before you. Struck like a dear in headlights over the plumes of dust in your face. Rendered retarded by the perfectness of it's awesome mechanisms. You realize that in this world, where you get to only by personal honesty, you can adequately gage your actions and correct them. I just realized that the volume I listen to my music terrifies me. It's the sensitivity, it's the feeling of being naked again. My nose is wet and cold, so are my fingers. These clothes are not particularly comfortable and my room is a mess. Most people I know live in this state of personal apathy and do nothing about it. There are many things in my life I've let go of- some I've missed. I let the dishes pile up and it pisses me off. The funny thing is that when I'm doing the dishes- the actual act of it, I rather enjoy myself. The last time I did them I was kind of hoping I had made more of a mess to clean. BUT! The very moment before I do them, I think I will never want to do that.
I'm terrified of putting my self out there to a new person. I thought I was so incredibly honest but I met someone I'm interested in and I found that I couldn't say this in person. Most people think it's a little much to start off with on a first date. I don't think a person deserves the best of you until they can take the worst. With that on my mind, I realize that a first date is always going to end in abject horror. If you can't be your worst, you also can't be your best because that is a tower supported by the ugly underwork. I haven't written anything in a while, I don't really know why. I thought it was becoming too familiar. I could hack away at these keys and lie to myself all day. I wrote something the other day in surprise on how little of my writing is honest. Once praised for my honesty it seems I got caught in kind of a plateau of just being mediocre.
A friend of mine wrote that I was "only half way there"
It seems like no matter how high I go, I'm always half way there. Every time I find a place to rest, my resting self tells me about how horrible the last experience was. Basically it is the left side of the brain communicating with the right side. It's funny that only now are they talking in science of the conversation between order and chaos. Equilibrium economics is an absolute joke. I laugh any time someone tells me they are an economic student. Look, our economics just went into the shitter. By the time they find something that actually works, you've had studied, for four years or more, all the ways that don't work. I mean, last I heard, they were still teaching macro and micro. They have no idea how to work a magnitude of scale- or even why one effects the other. American history is the one of a model airplane crashing into the ground after five minutes of flight. Sure, the fireball was larger than the others, but there are still folks burning in here.
Thoreau says "
“Most men lead lives of quiet desperation and go to the grave with the song still in them.”
This is why having a practice really helps. If you try to engage in a spiritual quest without any real help, you'll have an experience in multiple disciplines and drift between them. True skills are honed over time and you can't reach mastery if you don't seriously take it up.
That is what I'm trying to do. Get back on the horse.
It's like so many people are stuck in the tar and the ones that sign up for clubs have these people rush over and help you. I've never found a club of people that I particularly enjoyed and so I couldn't get real help from any of them. Basically because I refused their help and I've decided to pull myself up. Thanks, but I got this. My friends lie to me about how I look or how I act because they are scared I will judge them critically in response instead of supporting them. It is the exact same complication as the prisoner's dilemma. Jesus, I've got a dictionary and a thesaurus (and I spelled it correctly the first time!) on friggin' speed dial. I just click a word twice to get it's meaning. Fantastic. I've really butchered my sense of self with this machine.
You know, feeling crazy is a ... crazy feeling. I noticed, after thinking about the mechanisms that would drive one "insane" I realized that it's a cultural term that has absolutely nothing to do with the actual event, as I would imagine it. Socially crazy is anything beyond Rx, so do speak- beyond social barriers. Someone asked me today if I thought that they were crazy. I half considered if they wanted a formal (bullshit) answer or the "what's socially awkward" dance and ended with a "no, it's good."
That's why the mainstream is filled with people who socially police themselves and others to be "kind neighbors, hard workers, money earners, pleasant people"
What's funny is the Dharma basically says "I don't care about you. Forget about what you have, it's all broken and useless." and then it belches and walks away. It takes great determination to sit at that table. The balls to lay yourself out like that. I know you don't care! I'm going to sit down and make me a sandwich anyway! I know you think my feet are gross but your teeth aren't that good! We're this bunch of kindly disfigured souls bumbling around the blackberry bush. We dance around so long that we forget why we're dancing and so we miss the cosmic social cues and miss our turn to jump around to another place.
And so, I've papa legba tattooed to my calf. Lord of Transition.
Wednesday, May 11, 2011
Something to get off my chest
Ok, I really hate organizing large bits of information in text like this but let's try to work backwards here.
Fluid intelligence helps you with things like problem solving, sorting things out while confused and pattern recognition while crystallized intelligence draws on previously formulated ideas (like the understanding of certain concepts or methods) and employs them.
People on the higher end of the autistic spectrum tend to be strong in fluid intelligence. Fluid intelligence also allows for greater amounts and faster intake of information and helps create more crystallized intelligence.
A dual n-back task (being presented with independent sequences of different kinds of stimuli), which helps build fluid intelligence, also develops higher density dopamine receptors in the cortex- which is interesting because!!!
Monoamine oxidase "MAO" (typically) works to break down dopamine. MAO inhibitors are a key ingredient in the oral consumption of DMT and 5-MeO-DMT for a hallucinogenic effect. (Don't let the hype fool you, DMT is produced endogenously in the body, but consult your local gardener before ingesting any MAOI's because some cannot be reversed- not that I advocate putting anything in your system).
---
Blah, blah, blah... if you want the best high of your life, hack your brain and do so naturally. There are some simple daily exercises you can do to improve your performance and increase your happiness. Namely practicing non-action, mindfulness, selflessness, various meta cognitive tricks and a good workout at your local crossfit gym.
/wordvomit
Fluid intelligence helps you with things like problem solving, sorting things out while confused and pattern recognition while crystallized intelligence draws on previously formulated ideas (like the understanding of certain concepts or methods) and employs them.
People on the higher end of the autistic spectrum tend to be strong in fluid intelligence. Fluid intelligence also allows for greater amounts and faster intake of information and helps create more crystallized intelligence.
A dual n-back task (being presented with independent sequences of different kinds of stimuli), which helps build fluid intelligence, also develops higher density dopamine receptors in the cortex- which is interesting because!!!
Monoamine oxidase "MAO" (typically) works to break down dopamine. MAO inhibitors are a key ingredient in the oral consumption of DMT and 5-MeO-DMT for a hallucinogenic effect. (Don't let the hype fool you, DMT is produced endogenously in the body, but consult your local gardener before ingesting any MAOI's because some cannot be reversed- not that I advocate putting anything in your system).
---
Blah, blah, blah... if you want the best high of your life, hack your brain and do so naturally. There are some simple daily exercises you can do to improve your performance and increase your happiness. Namely practicing non-action, mindfulness, selflessness, various meta cognitive tricks and a good workout at your local crossfit gym.
/wordvomit
Tuesday, May 10, 2011
What spins my world
back squats, systemic emergence, metacognition, fresh laundry, nicknames, smiling in the face of adversity, laughter, jumping high, switches, early mornings, body language, reds doughnuts, sharp transitions, reasonable struggle, my height, fluid and crystallized intelligence, fringe culture, necessity, adaptation, reason, cooperation, righteous strength, drinking songs....
Monday, April 4, 2011
Transient Royalty
"Would that it were possible for thee to get thee wings, and soar into the air, and, poised midway 'tween earth and heaven, behold the earth's solidity, the sea's fluidity (the flowings of its streams), the spaciousness of air, fire's swiftness, [and] the coursing of the stars, the swiftness of heaven's circuit round them [all]!"
via The Corpus Hermeticum translated by G.R.S. Mead [chapter V. Though Unmanifest God Is Most Manifest]
Friday, April 1, 2011
I'm not so much a poet as I am a fool.
Preponderance is not so much being contemplative as it is sitting real still while falling and waiting for something to come up.
I'm the tetris block that gets to choose it's own color. Aerodynamic Aquamarine Arbelos Auto-Assembles Arrogantly Amongst Abapical Abiogenesis. Word to your mother.
I'm the tetris block that gets to choose it's own color. Aerodynamic Aquamarine Arbelos Auto-Assembles Arrogantly Amongst Abapical Abiogenesis. Word to your mother.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
fuck
In pursuit of knowledge,
every day something is added.
In the practice of the Tao,
every day something is dropped.
and so, I let go of this blog.
every day something is added.
In the practice of the Tao,
every day something is dropped.
and so, I let go of this blog.
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Oh, me?
I'm a linguist first and foremost. I think regardless of what I do in this world I'll always be a linguist. I fucking dig language. I think one of my favorites would have to be music.
Check it.
http://www.aeinstein.org/organizations/org/FDTD.pdf
Check it.
http://www.aeinstein.org/organizations/org/FDTD.pdf
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Tricks are for Kids
"Only the enlightened know how to comprehend all as unity. Therefore they do not act except in the context of the totality. The totality is what works; work is efficiency, efficiency is attainment. When you reach attainment, you are near. It is just a matter of depending on this, which is so without our knowing why; this is called the Way."
Haha. Silly Taoists. I know why.
Haha. Silly Taoists. I know why.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
think I could drive a car, fool
"more than 1.2 million children dropping out each year
United Way launched a 10-year initiative to cut the number of high school dropouts in half by 2018"
I dropped out of high school.
"The cost? More than $312 billion in lost wages, taxes and productivity over their lifetimes."
It seems that United Way equivocates success in the workplace as success in life. Lost wages, lost productivity as a person. Is it so fucking hard to believe that the oil mogul Rockefeller helped develop compulsory school?
"When Mom comes home, she and Erick read together. She gets books from the library that are right for his age, and looks for everyday moments to use those words, ideas and sentences. They talk about what's happening in the story, and what might happen next. "
Both my parents read to me as a kid. I also liked to make farm animal noises and I was obsessed with my own socks. I was left to my own devices to figure out what the fuck was happening.
In the story of two children, the successful student goes on to a rewarding future while Tommy, the drug selling dropout goes on to a life of crime. This is such a blatant expression of fear for the rouge thinking minds that I'm not sure how far they are willing to take it to secure their future as leading people.
They continue to stress the danger of minds left to their own devices. The misuse of resources if you don't conform to our system. You need us to function!
BornLearning
United Way launched a 10-year initiative to cut the number of high school dropouts in half by 2018"
I dropped out of high school.
"The cost? More than $312 billion in lost wages, taxes and productivity over their lifetimes."
It seems that United Way equivocates success in the workplace as success in life. Lost wages, lost productivity as a person. Is it so fucking hard to believe that the oil mogul Rockefeller helped develop compulsory school?
"When Mom comes home, she and Erick read together. She gets books from the library that are right for his age, and looks for everyday moments to use those words, ideas and sentences. They talk about what's happening in the story, and what might happen next. "
Both my parents read to me as a kid. I also liked to make farm animal noises and I was obsessed with my own socks. I was left to my own devices to figure out what the fuck was happening.
In the story of two children, the successful student goes on to a rewarding future while Tommy, the drug selling dropout goes on to a life of crime. This is such a blatant expression of fear for the rouge thinking minds that I'm not sure how far they are willing to take it to secure their future as leading people.
They continue to stress the danger of minds left to their own devices. The misuse of resources if you don't conform to our system. You need us to function!
I'm not going to lie, that was found on their site. After a near perfect stretch of self education and literacy, Rockefeller and others design and introduce a compulsory system and literacy has been going down ever since. Don't take my word for it, go, read it yourself.
Give every child the same oppertunity.
They suggest birth to 21, when most of your learned behavior (0-7, really) is adopted.
It's heavily suggestive, non-scientific and manipulative at the core.
Early learning prepares tomorrow's workforce!
Bornlearning.org
LEARNING IS NOT EDUCATION
BornLearning
not my joke
Why Engineers Don’t Write Recipe Books
Chocolate Chip Cookies:
Ingredients:
1. 532.35 cm3 gluten
2. 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
3. 4.9 cm3 refined halite
4. 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5. 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
6. 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
7. 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8. Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein
9. 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10. 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)
2. 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
3. 4.9 cm3 refined halite
4. 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5. 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
6. 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
7. 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8. Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein
9. 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10. 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)
To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation. In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous. To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction.
Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm). Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston’s first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown. Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.
The animal that understands his own bits.
I could understand that how in some ways, having two parents of the same background could be detrimental no matter what your parents do. Think about it, if you have two obsessive artist parents and you want to become a corporate lawyer, how would they feel?
Without proper social context, I don't know which thoughts have priority. That could lead to forgetting what conversation has relevance, which I certainly experience. Then I go too deeply into a single subject to explain it fully. I think people need to do that in order to understand the world. If you know the basic operators then you can make better, informed decisions, which would be another step in biological evolution. Let us not forget that we're animals.
Is the unexamined life worth living?
Without proper social context, I don't know which thoughts have priority. That could lead to forgetting what conversation has relevance, which I certainly experience. Then I go too deeply into a single subject to explain it fully. I think people need to do that in order to understand the world. If you know the basic operators then you can make better, informed decisions, which would be another step in biological evolution. Let us not forget that we're animals.
Is the unexamined life worth living?
flip flops
I was reading an article that a friend of mine posted (that is such a poor starter) about "how to talk to women without harassing them." I realized that I would never be reading this article if I wasn't moving to the city.
Nazza says
Nazza says
For the life of me, I don’t understand the reason to be that vulgar to women. I think where I’ve gotten my feelings hurt is in situations where cultural norms regarding stranger-to-stranger contact were very different than what I was used to.
In the South, one strikes up random conversions with strangers, regardless of sex. I even saw my father do much the same thing, speaking to women in the checkout line at the grocery store. Here in DC, not so much. I once really frightened this poor woman who was not comfortable with such a degree of friendliness. She pushed away from me quickly and started walking away as fast as she could. My feelings were really hurt. I felt rejected. Where I am from, not engaging in conversation is often considered rude or, at best, odd.
In any case, that wasn’t street harassment at all, but it did remind me that definitions of privacy vary from region to region and culture to culture. I’m not saying that what happened to you or any woman in that circumstance is acceptable. The code of conduct I am used to does not include harassment as justifiable behavior.
see, if a kind and genuine man comes up to say hello, women might just treat him poorly. The gentleman's feelings were hurt in the story before. Like, are women treating men the same way they are being treated? There are nasty guys out there. Verbally, psychologically, physically damaging people. AND there is nasty, snobbish, obtuse women out there. It might not read as something nice to say, but if one is going to accusative we might as well get things sorted. Like great, I am thankful I got to read this but I'd like to respond and remind that there are mean women out there too.
Ahahaha when did human relation become so combative? I also just realized I could say it the same exact way as "why are people so mean?" A lot of science seems like common sense. Like yeah, Newton figured that apples fall from the tree. So did Johnny Appleseed. I guess things like reincarnation stayed pretty hidden until now. Unless people actively realized that the animals or levels of reincarnation were symbols that represent a very mechanical quality... but then what are mechanic properties but a series of causal actions? I mean, sure, you could figure out the exact mathematical calculation to make the soap bubbles on the tip of your nose, or you could just play with bubbles. It makes the search for the ultimate meaning very boring because once you've found it, all you have is calculation. Like every flutter of your happiness index is a bouncing soul in the East Australasian current and we can map that out. Easy. Except it takes far more computer mass than it does subject mass. It's simple math. You don't even need to know anything about computers. Just a little biology and physics.
You take the smallest considerable bit and you assign it a flop- a single procedure. Of course if it's a complex behavior, you need exponential computation. The best computers in the world are going to work in teraflops, which is 1012 floating point operations per second. Think of how many flops in a single particle? A lot more than five. Think of how many single particles you have in your body. Each of them effecting the behavior of the whole. It's incredibly complicated and in fact, it's the most complicated thing in existence.
a simple calculator needs only about 10 FLOPS to be considered functional.- so says wikipedia.
Just sayin'
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