There were about, oh, I don't know, twenty people and something like six dogs (wearing birthday hats and pink ribbons). Most were bulldogs- one had it's nails painted. Rich family, ugly fucking dogs. Anyway.
The family, in their sun hats and sun dresses and oversized sunglasses... were drinking champagne. Five bottles worth. They had reserved a huge table, effectively taking up all the space on the patio at this restaurant. There were presents for dogs and bowls of water and little children coming up to pet the dogs... dog party. Yeah, ok. Established.
What I wanted to write about- and what was really interesting about this whole event, was that the dogs would occasionally fight. You've got this huge fucking bulldog with painted nails and a pink harness with little pink bows and this obnoxious party hat, and he's fucking chasing this tiny dog around the patio. He's growling and barking and knocking important-looking shit over everywhere.
And here you find the coolest thing in the fucking world. I'm telling you. Here it is.
No matter how much you dressed up these fucking bulldogs, they were still animals. No matter how well fed they were, no matter what you tried to do to them to make them into your little, cute animal toys, they were still ANIMALS. And animals have this instinct- and so you get this growling and barking and ... you see? That, to me, is beautiful. One of the most beautiful things.
No matter how much the family would like to have those ugly fucking dogs act like animated pillow pets, they couldn't escape animal-fucking-nature (neither dogs or people). Animal nature happens to be geared towards what works. Not what you'd like to have happen, not what you've paid for or worked towards- all the artificial shit dies.
If morality is the whole idea of "what should be done" then everything is all geared towards "being moral." All the human beings and ridiculously pampered, over glamorized pets- as well as rocks, mountains, oceans, space dust... all have to follow what works. No matter how many purple bows or other useless fancy shit. Universe just don't bend over because you painted your dogs nails. Don't work that way.
The highest human paradox is the urge to want something other than what is. It's like, instead of celebrating the fact that we're animals, so many of the members of our species try to fight that fact. We should be celebrating! We are the product of amazing universal space shit! We're the little coalesced carbon blobs of exploded stars! HOW FUCKING AMAZING IS THAT?! And yet, some of these amazing blobs of carbon and hydrogen rather watch the Kardashians than sit in awe and wonder of the world they live in daily.
It's a beautiful thing to realize that life tends towards what works. Even if that means the majority of the population is as dumb as rocks, those rocks improve over the course of a single human lifetime. Just remember it took prokaryotes a few billion years to get their shit together and form multi-cellular organisms. Hell, I could form a chess club in an afternoon. So, in relation to the development of the history of the known world, even your eggo-head of a neighbor is doing pretty swell.
So, you know, in conclusion, or whatever...
Do what works.
Because it's the fucking best thing ever.
(all the cool biological systems are doing it)
OH! This also means that the laws governing ... fucking... volcano shit and, like, plate tectonics and like, blueberry muffin mix... are the same laws that govern snobby fucking kids with ugly fucking dogs.
That's the coolest.
This has been another episode from the strangeness that is the world we live in. (which is, incidentally, totally fucking rad)
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