Thunderhorse Jet-stream

a movement. a quake in the feet. a rattle of the spine. it's upon me. flushed against the face and crawling like fingers to the back of my head. i enter the neitherworld as a frog prince with a wicked tongue. the trembling becomes a chatter and then a rumbling of an engine as my heart turns over. my arms drift with the wind, limp and carrying all the rage of the demon. ready. at rest.

terrible, terrible Ogun. triumphant Ogun. soft is the incarnation of his fury like the crack of a smile on a beast.

when i move in this state i'm the last to know. in a sudden motion my fist is in front of me before i can blink. before my body throws it. Ogun is a good reason not to fight. beyond respect of terms, beyond the self. Ogun tramples everything and gives me wings in places of fire. his presence is warm, sometimes kind hearted. he listens with that smile. that smile that lets you know the hammer is already in motion. in action he arrives with that speed because he acts in multiple places at once. it's a sneaking that allows the body to be thrown while relaxed. to strike as a missile while sleeping like a child. yes, Ogun is a good reason not to fight.

he respects Legba and because of that, leaves or arrives upon command. sometimes catching me by surprise but ... Ogun is a good reason not to fight.

Complexity Theory in 229 Words

The very first historic example of art that I know of is the drop-shaped hand-axe. It's beauty was due, at least in part, to show how well a specific craftsman could form his tools. It had at least two functions: as a tool and as a thing of beauty. Some were found either unused and in pristine condition or too large to use at all. Having a well crafted, state-of-the-art tool was a huge benefit when you wanted to select a mate. 

In biology, like economics, there are limited resources and unlimited desire. That is, in part, what gives rise to biological evolution; the most efficient species or variant is dominant. 

The quality of art depends on it's effectiveness to convey a particular message or adhere to a specific method. A specific method is one way to use the resources you have in an effective way to express an emotion, idea or image. Just as in language, the quality of the writing often has to do with the ability to translate ideas and (often neglected) brevity. The symbolism of language itself is an exercise in simplicity. For the simplicity of language to exist, there must be a great network of complexity to express. 

So, I'll end with this:

Biological evolution and the history of artwork have this in common...

Flexibility allows diversity. 

Complexity precedes simplicity. 

Efficiency is uncomplicated.

dirt

It's an interesting thing, doing manual labor. I get off work after eight hours of menial farm work and ride my bide seven miles into town. Due to the humidity, flies typically follow me around. All day long I hear about advertisements for real estate and credit cards- essentially people making money without actually producing anything. I walk around town in my grubby work clothes and I feel like I'm on a totally different track than most.

An older woman once asked me what I did for work. I told her and she said "Well, that seems... manageable." What the fuck is that supposed to mean? I understand the assumption that manual laborers are stupid, but seriously, either I'm covered in dirt and assumed to be ignorant or carrying around a book bag and assumed to be a pretentious ass. I'm fucking sick of it. I like to work with dirt. I enjoy reading philosophy on my free time. Makes me sick how people react to anything they aren't used to.

State of the Scheduled Programming

If a government gives a vote to every one of it's citizens and favors an informed vote just as much as an ignorant one, the government will be a reflection of it's least capable citizens (assuming everyone votes). Cornel West once said in a discussion that black people will vote for Obama because they believe him to be the best choice and not because they're black. I don't think that's correct at all- and it doesn't have anything to do with the black vote. If people voted for who they really believed in instead of the lesser of two possible evils, we'd have revolution in a day.

What we have is a great mass of stupid, uninformed people that shuffle to the voting office to cast their ballot to the person the media deems appropriate. Just ask a person who participated in the last election if they even KNEW who Dennis Kucinich is. The fact of the matter is that too many people can't be bothered to even know the alternative.

Thoreau has this to say.
"All voting is a sort of gaming, like checkers or backgammon, with a slight moral tinge to it, a playing with right and wrong, with moral questions; and betting naturally accompanies it. The character of the voters is not staked. I cast my vote, perchance, as I think right; but I am not vitally concerned that that right should prevail. I am willing to leave it to the majority. Its obligation, therefore, never exceeds that of expediency. Even voting for the right is doing nothing for it. It is only expressing to men feebly your desire that it should prevail. A wise man will not leave the right to the mercy of chance, nor wish it to prevail through the power of the majority. There is but little virtue in the action of masses of men. When the majority shall at length vote for the abolition of slavery, it will be because they are indifferent to slavery, or because there is but little slavery left to be abolished by their vote. They will then be the only slaves. Only his vote can hasten the abolition of slavery who asserts his own freedom by his vote."


Due to the nature of the voter, the politic and media of the day reflect what he or she wants (the voter). It becomes lowest common denominator and that is why the media seems exactly like a reality show.
THE DYSFUNCTION OF THE MACRO IS DUE TO THE DYSFUNCTION OF THE MICRO. 
IF YOU WANT TO SAVE THE WORLD, SAVE YOURSELF.


If you stand for nothing you'll fall for anything - Malcom x

*

I feel only disgust when people say I'm brilliant.
How can they possibly give me such a title when they know not of what I say? How can you prescribe such a thing to an illness you know nothing about? It is the violence of my will against theirs and I've found myself to be the greater beast. I'm not brilliant. I'm savage in all the ways unfit for leadership. I can no more lead a nation as I could lead myself.

The state of things is this- dishes pile in the sink and I'm drunk on the couch. No more fit to lead a bunch of misfits. Think nothing more of it.

cruel

I don't seek escape. I've not once asked for another journey. Not once have I begged to be other than where I am. Not once. I often fold under the weight but it is a burden I carry eagerly.

I'd give my life for beauty. It is the only thing that sustains me. Food is bland in comparison and I derive all my sustenance from the sustained notes of heaven. That is why I have such a beast within me. It's driven not by the mechanisms of man but of heaven. It is the savage nature of the divine due to it's distance from man. It is, in essence, the nature of man. I AM fringe. I AM humanity. I exist as all men are born to serve and I suffer for my own ignorance. Not once have I asked for otherwise.

Often throughout my life I've been given the choice for a life other than where I am. I've often asked myself if I'd dedicate to this struggle. Again, not once have I chosen otherwise. I've had twenty years to think about the consequences. It's strange to see into the heart of man; to see it's twisting and beating. To look, sometimes coldly, into the soul and know it's bearing. To know it's function and method. To smell it and become brothers to the brother. To saddle up to the godhead and be it's messenger. It's a terrible burden.

Trial by Fire

I'm often accused of being too slow or too "heady." It's the same reason that high creative types are alcoholics, which is also something I struggle with. I have to be highly rational because I have such a raging beast within me; it requires that kind of control just to function and so I'm prone to lethargy. I get uncontrollable bursts of energy and if I don't channel it properly, things go awry. Extinguishing fire with gasoline- it just pours out of me like a river. It seems like pure aggression and I don't mean to do it but sometimes it's difficult to keep in check. The other danger is that without proper outlets, there can be an internal deadening with the suppression; growth is stunted out of fear of the self with booze. And so I get depressed because people can't keep up with me. I sit around the house, play video games and drink just so I don't have to rage against myself all day. It's a daily torment and while I'm able to manage it better than nearly every person I've found with this... tendency, it still isn't enough. I know I'm capable of greatness, of breaking the social cycle and bringing about great change, but I must master myself first. 

In the Vedas, they say my personality type is the most difficult to deal with. The mastering of my senses, the understanding of the mechanisms that drive the world and the constant struggle between suppression and the animal. That is why every day is a celebration; I understand it and I'm thankful just to be here. 

Some days the things that come through my flesh end up twisting my bones. I'm afraid of ever getting in a fight because of that feeling and the way it comes out of me. I've seen the look in the mirror and it scares me. I don't want to hurt anyone and people who know me would say that I don't have an anger problem. I just have a suppression problem- and yet they can't begin to keep up with me in even my most sedated states. Bursts of flame and smoke that create storms of networks erupt by themselves. One moment gives birth to more than the normal person will consider in a month. I know because I've been there. I've blacked out a single year of my life in that dead state and I promised myself that even on pain of death, I'd never do that again. That all the suffering of passion is worth the avoidance of that icy sleep. Death by fire. YES. Death by fire. The only end fitting for my kind. 

The Heft of a Volume on Musicology

The pain is dull.

The pain of being; dull.

It's unfortunate that the hight of fashion today is to keep all the sparkles on the outside. I'm a thief then, to take all of what they have and giving none of mine. Ah, the decaying economy of the street populous. 

A one man band is a musician so disagreeable he must play all roles. Often sub-par. There is no excellence in being lonesome.

Some problems are too large to solve in the moment and I'm wise to recognize this. Instead, it's important to note that it is merely a -pause- and not a -stop-. To pursue in adversity. 

It is not enough to know of justice as you would an associate. Justice must be a lover and a confidant. 

I wreck not the man but the method to his wickedness. One must live evil to know evil- to recognize and then take action; first to remove it from the self. Only then can one help others. 

The fringe IS man. 

Flourishing is weak. 

The more you learn about human nature, the more you learn about plant nature. Network ideas and dig deeply into mystery.

Rushing towards silence is...

My filter for interpersonal communication is simple. 

Hunger.

Of any kind.

Not only to consume and satiate ones self but to digest. That is why people bow before me. How can I respect a man who rides in the back of his own car?

Never forget that the only reason to clear some land is to plant a flower. otherwise I'd be the devil. 

"The big bag sale!"

I'd rather have big ideas.

"Hawaiian design!"

Made by white people trying to perpetuate their dysfunction within paradise. 

Hah. The same mall cop has passed me twice. Both times I was writing. I wonder what he thinks.

You can hang anything on a woman and it will become beautiful the moment she wants to take it off for you. 

There is no honor in living and expressing anything less than a righteous lifestyle. 

There are three major areas of concentration in jeet kune do :
1. Simplicity
2. Directness and,
3. Non-classical attitude

----

The above translates into

* Simplicity (no, really)
* Directness (honesty, integrity, passion)
* Non-classical attitude (flexibility, disregard for authority, fluidity of belief)

----

Handbook for Agents of Change update
universal truths.
Flexibility allows diversity.
Complexity precedes simplicity.
Efficiency is uncomplicated.

Handbook for Agents of Change overview

universal truths.

Flexibility allows diversity.
Complexity breeds simplicity.
Simplicity is efficient.
Efficiency is that which is most divine.

The work I do requires I walk into people's homes.
Lao Tzu describes it as

"They were careful
as someone crossing an iced-over stream.
Alert as a warrior in enemy territory.
Courteous as a guest.
Fluid as melting ice.
Shapable as a block of wood.
Receptive as a valley.
Clear as a glass of water."

From there we must attack the method, and never the person. The reason to attack the method the person operates in is to facilitate fluidity. From this, they may seek out better options but they are unable to do this if they don't know other options are available. From the age of chaos, divine order is born. In complexity, we're able to single out all the relevant information- we cut the excess marble from the statue buried below like a sculptor.
That is why information is lost every day instead of added. As disciples of life, infinitely flexible like water, agents of change are able to hop from one stone to the next. We let go more every day until only the divine is left- the supreme expression of efficiency where the fist strikes by itself, as Bruce Lee might say. That is why brevity in literature is a beautiful thing and skillful music is pleasant to listen to.

Ouroboros and Sleipnir

do not cast out the shadow of death by belief or mysticism. blazing glory and terrible awesomeness is the only worthy element for consumption amongst the deathless ones. it is not a rain of truth but a savage thirst in a desert of weak ideology. a forest of rotting trees with roots that tangle against the trunk, refusing to hold dirt. it is the fish that throws himself on the bank of the river for salvation from the bear. 

Is the unexamined life forgivable?

These terrible moments make me ache for a bottle or a pipe. Moments when I feel even the meager attempts at socialization- at the attempt to relate to a fellow sentient being seems like I'm placing such a burden upon them. "you're always- can't you just- I have to sleep now. goodbye" flighty little whispers that call out that they are friends. statues of ash and clay with contempt for anything heavier than a passing fad. for us wielders of hammer and stone, we're familiar with the rolling terrors of the mountain. intimate with the nature of crystalline figures lost in the snowy pastures. the long dead-still standing with fixed eyes and open mouth, still fighting to pull the taste of doom from their tongue. snarled from the inside out. what a wretched existence. I should be so lucky if they didn't have to litter this place with their horrors. why should they climb into my home and die in my fire?

to extinguish me?

they nag me to set the entire place to kindling so I would at least appear to be like them.

it's tempting. it's unforgivable. to do so would offend heaven and I'd be cast out.

Ra

The trick is to become comfortable in the blinding white unknown. Instead of shielding your eyes, you wander into the abyss with a grin on your face. I once reached the mountain peak and was blinded by the light of the church of Ra. I instantly knew what I had to overcome in this world in order to bring back the divine. I can travel to those places now.

It is but the tall and falling towers that are able to spot the horizon.

Rain keeps falling on my head...

My friends have all these hundreds of photos of parties I've never been to.

I've missed out on so much of my young adulthood- if that makes sense.

Some people skip childhood- I certainly didn't do that.

It's the same crew ten years later. On one hand I'm impulsive and want to give them crap for being in the same place so many years later. On the other hand, I'm constantly on my own. I see masses of the same crowd in far away places. Playing in the snow, standing on a train, bustling around in a city. Any time I went to the city, it was by myself or with one other person. I just have never done that group activity and in some ways, I deeply miss it. In other ways, I'm able to slip into places they could never go in a group. I can fit in between places that they will never know.

Whoa, dude.

So my ten year old cousin was just caught on facebook explaining what "incognito" meant. God, I love my family.

It isn't so much that I study what people say. People always assume this when I tell them I study philosophy. They ask "what's something wise that the one philosopher said. you know, the one with the beard and the robe." "Socrates?" "yeah! that guy!"
I study what people have in common. I study relationships because the middle path is the only way towards truth. My role model has always been the idea of the Buddha and Bruce Lee. And the stereotypical Chinese Master, whom I assume is Lao Tzu. Oh, and the Monkey King, Sun Wukong (Kong?). And Thoreau, Oscar Wilde, William Wycherley, Lewis Hyde... you know. 
It's a dissembling of old ritual to seek inner truth. Genetic irregularities that cause the abominably that creates the heart. I think it's connected to primal brain, perhaps through the pineal gland. Connected to dreams and reaching higher consciousness. I hate that phrase.  
People get so stuck in their own patterns to seek the divine that they actually keep themselves from it. Like if you make one slice of cake it's really good. If you keep eating cake, you're going to get sick. 


That is the importance of mental flexibility. 


Another major part of that is continuing to be sensitive enough to flow with your environment. You could create those hard boundaries, but it keeps you from knowing the truth. In reality, I'm so much more capable than any of my fortified brothers or sisters for the very same reason that they're walled up. 


I might not be able to tell you how I got here, but I can tell you what the sunset is going to look like in four days. 


And that, my friends, is the deep kind of understanding you get for sitting for five years. You see how you die, how the universe operates, how to listen to your inner spirit, how to spot lies- how to sit so still that action arises by itself. It's funny, when I'm in those places is when I'm doing the most movement. Arms flow by themselves right to the perfect spot. Movement itself becomes a dance- as does thought. Mental compositions with a million piece orchestra and yet- and yet I can't speak about it in person. 


And there is the rub. No one else is able to put this into words. They dance, sure. In the studio with their bodies. They can pretend to die, in the theater with their thespians.  They can listen to their inner spirit, in the forest and not the city. And they can spot lies if they train their entire lives. It's these small attempts at greatness that let me know where I am. I can understand dance as it applies to a higher purpose or music as it applies to the language of the universe, but I can't dance or sing myself. I'm so infinitely capable but totally misunderstanding. Or is it understanding and incapable? I try so desperately to bring people together. Trying to get ethno-mathematicians to talk with biologists. They don't wanTt to learn the other discipline because they are busy with their own. I want to learn each way to live and bring them together. I know many people say that, but I truly study as many options as I can. That is why I think in networked sequences. I understand your universe and the twenty people that compose your group. I see networks because I think in networks. How the fundamental understanding of Francis is going to connect with the universe Sarah puts together. I get that. I can see it in the fucking shopping centers. What I don't know how to do is perfectly connect my universe with anybody else. I have so many options it actually becomes impossible to make a choice on one and so I sit here. 


The universe gently brings these things to me as a meal would be brought to a sickly child. My mother's friends laugh at the idea of doing manual labor. "That certainly seems manageable" Yeah, well so does sticking your head in the sand so you could marry a rich man and live on fortune alone. You're the least wealthy of them all. The characters on the street, playing drums and harmonica and guitar at once, the gold man, the painter- these are men who understand the earth. They stick to the fundamentals and live by order of the eternal realm. They live by season and temperament- Connected to the earth so closely they become Lunatics (touched by the moon). For the closer you crouch towards the earth, the higher your next bound into space. 


The most divine feeling in the known world is when the weather suddenly turns cold and the earth is the major source of warmth. The heat oozing out of the black earth. It makes it feel alive and for a moment I sit down and pray. I say hello to the earthly gods and thank them dearly for carving my way into the world. The wind throws me about and I thank it for providing the air to my lungs. The very acts of nature a part of who I am as a person. The waves crashing me about as the blood in my heart. This is a childlike sense of wonder and awe. 


The only true source of the divine. 

Art and music and... and...

After I had my dinner last night I was tempted to put cooking on my list of the three main ways to divinity (Music, art, dance). I mean, every culture in the history of man has some kind of food preparation tradition but that doesn't mean all people strive for advancement in it as artists do. I think there are less people who use the culinary arts for self expression as dancers do, but I'm not sure, which is why I'm hesitant. Either way, Sam cooks like a motherfucker.

I should find a dancer.

Tying the knot

"The Endless Knot is known as dpal be'u in Tibetan and shrivatsa in Sanskrit. Other names for it are the Tibetan Knot, the Mystic Dragon, the Knot of Eternity, and the Lucky Diagram.

The Endless Knot is one of the eight auspicious Buddhist symbols, known in as Sanskrit as Ashtamangala. The other seven symbols are a lotus flower, two golden fish, a parasol, a treasure vase, a conch shell, victory banner, and eight spoked wheel. The Endless Knot is an intertwined knot without beginning or end, symbolizing Buddha's wisdom and infinite compassion.

While the form pictured from Tibet, various Celtic knots are interlocking and bear a striking resemblence to the Endless Knot. Symmetrical knots that tie into themselves without beginning or end possessing a certain harmonic grace and elegance.

In fact, the Endless Knot has migrated and the arguement can be made that it's now a shared cultural meme. It gets used in non-religious contexts and finds itself incorporated into larger works."

http://www.jetcityorange.com/Buddhism/Endless-Knot.html

Now here is the overly simplistic version that sort of evolved when I tried to draw the ideas I was having. Loosely based off a transparent cube, I wanted to draw my philosophical ideas in a multitude of ways in a simple image. 

It's a little difficult to put into words but I wanted to express these three major qualities. The macro- the knot, the expansive universe; the micro- the squares within the knot, the building blocks of all life; the whole- the fact that the small looks exactly like the large which looks exactly like the middle. 

The endless knot has been described as "an ancient symbol representing the interweaving of the Spiritual path, the flowing of Time andMovement within That Which is Eternal. All existence, it says, is bound by time and change, yet ultimately rests serenely within the Divine and the Eternal."^{[citation needed]} Various interpretations of the symbol are:

• The Endless knot iconography symbolised Samsara i.e., the endless cycle of suffering or birth, death and rebirth within Tibetan Buddhism.
• The inter-twining of wisdom and compassion.
• Interplay and interaction of the opposing forces in the dualistic world of manifestation, leading to their union, and ultimately to harmony in the universe.
• The mutual dependence of religious doctrine and secular affairs.
• The union of wisdom and method.
• The inseparability of emptiness (shunyata) and dependent origination, the underlying reality of existence.
• Symbolic of knot symbolism in linking ancestors and omnipresence and the magical ritual and meta-process of binding (refer etymology ofTantra, Yoga and religion) (see Namkha.)
• Since the knot has no beginning or end it also symbolizes the infinite wisdom of the Buddha.

WIKIPEDIA