In pursuit of knowledge,
every day something is added.
In the practice of the Tao,
every day something is dropped.
and so, I let go of this blog.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Oh, me?
I'm a linguist first and foremost. I think regardless of what I do in this world I'll always be a linguist. I fucking dig language. I think one of my favorites would have to be music.
Check it.
http://www.aeinstein.org/organizations/org/FDTD.pdf
Check it.
http://www.aeinstein.org/organizations/org/FDTD.pdf
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Tricks are for Kids
"Only the enlightened know how to comprehend all as unity. Therefore they do not act except in the context of the totality. The totality is what works; work is efficiency, efficiency is attainment. When you reach attainment, you are near. It is just a matter of depending on this, which is so without our knowing why; this is called the Way."
Haha. Silly Taoists. I know why.
Haha. Silly Taoists. I know why.
Sunday, February 13, 2011
think I could drive a car, fool
"more than 1.2 million children dropping out each year
United Way launched a 10-year initiative to cut the number of high school dropouts in half by 2018"
I dropped out of high school.
"The cost? More than $312 billion in lost wages, taxes and productivity over their lifetimes."
It seems that United Way equivocates success in the workplace as success in life. Lost wages, lost productivity as a person. Is it so fucking hard to believe that the oil mogul Rockefeller helped develop compulsory school?
"When Mom comes home, she and Erick read together. She gets books from the library that are right for his age, and looks for everyday moments to use those words, ideas and sentences. They talk about what's happening in the story, and what might happen next. "
Both my parents read to me as a kid. I also liked to make farm animal noises and I was obsessed with my own socks. I was left to my own devices to figure out what the fuck was happening.
In the story of two children, the successful student goes on to a rewarding future while Tommy, the drug selling dropout goes on to a life of crime. This is such a blatant expression of fear for the rouge thinking minds that I'm not sure how far they are willing to take it to secure their future as leading people.
They continue to stress the danger of minds left to their own devices. The misuse of resources if you don't conform to our system. You need us to function!
BornLearning
United Way launched a 10-year initiative to cut the number of high school dropouts in half by 2018"
I dropped out of high school.
"The cost? More than $312 billion in lost wages, taxes and productivity over their lifetimes."
It seems that United Way equivocates success in the workplace as success in life. Lost wages, lost productivity as a person. Is it so fucking hard to believe that the oil mogul Rockefeller helped develop compulsory school?
"When Mom comes home, she and Erick read together. She gets books from the library that are right for his age, and looks for everyday moments to use those words, ideas and sentences. They talk about what's happening in the story, and what might happen next. "
Both my parents read to me as a kid. I also liked to make farm animal noises and I was obsessed with my own socks. I was left to my own devices to figure out what the fuck was happening.
In the story of two children, the successful student goes on to a rewarding future while Tommy, the drug selling dropout goes on to a life of crime. This is such a blatant expression of fear for the rouge thinking minds that I'm not sure how far they are willing to take it to secure their future as leading people.
They continue to stress the danger of minds left to their own devices. The misuse of resources if you don't conform to our system. You need us to function!
I'm not going to lie, that was found on their site. After a near perfect stretch of self education and literacy, Rockefeller and others design and introduce a compulsory system and literacy has been going down ever since. Don't take my word for it, go, read it yourself.
Give every child the same oppertunity.
They suggest birth to 21, when most of your learned behavior (0-7, really) is adopted.
It's heavily suggestive, non-scientific and manipulative at the core.
Early learning prepares tomorrow's workforce!
Bornlearning.org
LEARNING IS NOT EDUCATION
BornLearning
not my joke
Why Engineers Don’t Write Recipe Books
Chocolate Chip Cookies:
Ingredients:
1. 532.35 cm3 gluten
2. 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
3. 4.9 cm3 refined halite
4. 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5. 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
6. 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
7. 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8. Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein
9. 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10. 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)
2. 4.9 cm3 NaHCO3
3. 4.9 cm3 refined halite
4. 236.6 cm3 partially hydrogenated tallow triglyceride
5. 177.45 cm3 crystalline C12H22O11
6. 177.45 cm3 unrefined C12H22O11
7. 4.9 cm3 methyl ether of protocatechuic aldehyde
8. Two calcium carbonate-encapsulated avian albumen-coated protein
9. 473.2 cm3 theobroma cacao
10. 236.6 cm3 de-encapsulated legume meats (sieve size #10)
To a 2-L jacketed round reactor vessel (reactor #1) with an overall heat transfer coefficient of about 100 Btu/F-ft2-hr, add ingredients one, two and three with constant agitation. In a second 2-L reactor vessel with a radial flow impeller operating at 100 rpm, add ingredients four, five, six, and seven until the mixture is homogenous. To reactor #2, add ingredient eight, followed by three equal volumes of the homogenous mixture in reactor #1. Additionally, add ingredient nine and ten slowly, with constant agitation. Care must be taken at this point in the reaction to control any temperature rise that may be the result of an exothermic reaction.
Using a screw extrude attached to a #4 nodulizer, place the mixture piece-meal on a 316SS sheet (300 x 600 mm). Heat in a 460K oven for a period of time that is in agreement with Frank & Johnston’s first order rate expression (see JACOS, 21, 55), or until golden brown. Once the reaction is complete, place the sheet on a 25C heat-transfer table, allowing the product to come to equilibrium.
The animal that understands his own bits.
I could understand that how in some ways, having two parents of the same background could be detrimental no matter what your parents do. Think about it, if you have two obsessive artist parents and you want to become a corporate lawyer, how would they feel?
Without proper social context, I don't know which thoughts have priority. That could lead to forgetting what conversation has relevance, which I certainly experience. Then I go too deeply into a single subject to explain it fully. I think people need to do that in order to understand the world. If you know the basic operators then you can make better, informed decisions, which would be another step in biological evolution. Let us not forget that we're animals.
Is the unexamined life worth living?
Without proper social context, I don't know which thoughts have priority. That could lead to forgetting what conversation has relevance, which I certainly experience. Then I go too deeply into a single subject to explain it fully. I think people need to do that in order to understand the world. If you know the basic operators then you can make better, informed decisions, which would be another step in biological evolution. Let us not forget that we're animals.
Is the unexamined life worth living?
flip flops
I was reading an article that a friend of mine posted (that is such a poor starter) about "how to talk to women without harassing them." I realized that I would never be reading this article if I wasn't moving to the city.
Nazza says
Nazza says
For the life of me, I don’t understand the reason to be that vulgar to women. I think where I’ve gotten my feelings hurt is in situations where cultural norms regarding stranger-to-stranger contact were very different than what I was used to.
In the South, one strikes up random conversions with strangers, regardless of sex. I even saw my father do much the same thing, speaking to women in the checkout line at the grocery store. Here in DC, not so much. I once really frightened this poor woman who was not comfortable with such a degree of friendliness. She pushed away from me quickly and started walking away as fast as she could. My feelings were really hurt. I felt rejected. Where I am from, not engaging in conversation is often considered rude or, at best, odd.
In any case, that wasn’t street harassment at all, but it did remind me that definitions of privacy vary from region to region and culture to culture. I’m not saying that what happened to you or any woman in that circumstance is acceptable. The code of conduct I am used to does not include harassment as justifiable behavior.
see, if a kind and genuine man comes up to say hello, women might just treat him poorly. The gentleman's feelings were hurt in the story before. Like, are women treating men the same way they are being treated? There are nasty guys out there. Verbally, psychologically, physically damaging people. AND there is nasty, snobbish, obtuse women out there. It might not read as something nice to say, but if one is going to accusative we might as well get things sorted. Like great, I am thankful I got to read this but I'd like to respond and remind that there are mean women out there too.
Ahahaha when did human relation become so combative? I also just realized I could say it the same exact way as "why are people so mean?" A lot of science seems like common sense. Like yeah, Newton figured that apples fall from the tree. So did Johnny Appleseed. I guess things like reincarnation stayed pretty hidden until now. Unless people actively realized that the animals or levels of reincarnation were symbols that represent a very mechanical quality... but then what are mechanic properties but a series of causal actions? I mean, sure, you could figure out the exact mathematical calculation to make the soap bubbles on the tip of your nose, or you could just play with bubbles. It makes the search for the ultimate meaning very boring because once you've found it, all you have is calculation. Like every flutter of your happiness index is a bouncing soul in the East Australasian current and we can map that out. Easy. Except it takes far more computer mass than it does subject mass. It's simple math. You don't even need to know anything about computers. Just a little biology and physics.
You take the smallest considerable bit and you assign it a flop- a single procedure. Of course if it's a complex behavior, you need exponential computation. The best computers in the world are going to work in teraflops, which is 1012 floating point operations per second. Think of how many flops in a single particle? A lot more than five. Think of how many single particles you have in your body. Each of them effecting the behavior of the whole. It's incredibly complicated and in fact, it's the most complicated thing in existence.
a simple calculator needs only about 10 FLOPS to be considered functional.- so says wikipedia.
Just sayin'
Friday, February 11, 2011
plastic madness
I've been driving myself bonkers with bad company. Better company arrives tomorrow.
Nearly convinced myself I was crazy the other day. Then I realized that "throw away culture" is crazy. Disinterest in personal well-being is crazy. This obsession with consuming what is actually non-food items is crazy. The idea that we're not animals is crazy. "Ignorance is bliss" is crazy. Authoritarian values are crazy. Spending 99 units of energy for 1 unit of product is crazy. Individual packaging is crazy (UNLESS IT'S A HUSK- think corn).
I pick a fallen mac nut from my tree. I remove the husk and crack the shell. I eat the nut. I throw the husk and shell into the garden- CAUSE THAT SHIT HELPS MY GARDEN.
No, no, I'm not crazy.
Nearly convinced myself I was crazy the other day. Then I realized that "throw away culture" is crazy. Disinterest in personal well-being is crazy. This obsession with consuming what is actually non-food items is crazy. The idea that we're not animals is crazy. "Ignorance is bliss" is crazy. Authoritarian values are crazy. Spending 99 units of energy for 1 unit of product is crazy. Individual packaging is crazy (UNLESS IT'S A HUSK- think corn).
I pick a fallen mac nut from my tree. I remove the husk and crack the shell. I eat the nut. I throw the husk and shell into the garden- CAUSE THAT SHIT HELPS MY GARDEN.
No, no, I'm not crazy.
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
battle
You know when you're stirring a bowl of soup and nothing is spilling and then, all of a sudden, a splash of chicken noodle goes shooting up on your shirt? That's non-linear dynamics. It's the same reason water acts differently on separate scales. It's why a drop of water can hang off your nose but a gallon can't (without a bucket and a hook). The same dynamic of gravity acts differently depending on how big you are. An ant can fall from any distance because his terminal velocity will never get above the speed it takes to kill him. On the other hand, humans are one of THE ONLY animals that can die falling from a standing height. So much for evolution. *clunk*
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
zip pop and bang
So that's just it, isn't it? We're a cycle within a cycle within a cycle, and this show is playing on all channels. I get it now. And we're looking for the source code that determines why some objects go in one direction instead of another. Even if we figure that out, it won't help us with our present dilemma, besides the knowledge that we have a dilemma. It doesn't matter if you go up and down. That's the teaching of the Tao. You can't know it, but you can be it. You can't see the whole picture, but you can be part of it.
My fucking god.
Familiar kinds of music set us at ease because we know what is going to happen next. Music celebrities sing about it to keep us aware, if even subconsciously, and we reward them not with money, most of that goes to the publishing company. We reward these musicians with the feeling that they know what they are doing. They get the groupies and the music videos about them being accepted by a mass of people.
Non fucking action.
Non-action.
The sage appreciates stillness. My fucking god. I have to buy that book tomorrow.
My fucking god.
Familiar kinds of music set us at ease because we know what is going to happen next. Music celebrities sing about it to keep us aware, if even subconsciously, and we reward them not with money, most of that goes to the publishing company. We reward these musicians with the feeling that they know what they are doing. They get the groupies and the music videos about them being accepted by a mass of people.
Non fucking action.
Non-action.
The sage appreciates stillness. My fucking god. I have to buy that book tomorrow.
You are here.
Kaplow
The adversary is actually a benevolent mentor. He throws problems at you that he knows you need to focus on. He throws so many because he knows how infinitely capable you are. He knows, for a fact, that you will survive any task set before you until your time, which is something he cannot change. So you race like a mouse on a wheel with little plastic rocks rattling your cage.
Interesting.
Metamining.
http://zenpundit.blogspot.com/2006/10/super-empowered-individual-man-is.html
That is just a tad bit unnerving.
Interesting.
Metamining.
I don't know what it says, but I'm damn sure it has something to do with what I'm saying. Input, output, metamachine, submachine, information bank. Something like that.
http://zenpundit.blogspot.com/2006/10/super-empowered-individual-man-is.html
That is just a tad bit unnerving.
twist of fate
A beautiful and talented woman may try to hide the source of her excellence but when I express it in simple terms, they don't know how to respond to it. In their world, excellence is only seen through music, or artwork, or dance. This is the mark of the people of the Rajas. Excellent in one regard and horrified to do better so they focus on this one piece and identify with it so even if they are given other pieces of wisdom, they can separate that out from the larger work of thought. They keep the embers lit so people can find there way. The sage is one of many skills and employs them often. He is the change agent and as funny as it does seem to me, Kim Jong-il is such a change agent.
Check it.
Nearly all his photos are manipulated in some way. He is almost never in the original photo and when he is, it's a doppleganger.
http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/54499611.html
There is a bunch of photos of Kim just looking at stuff. You can tell the closest ring to him are his professional staff. They are experts in their own disciplines to explain to him about each thing they look at. Kim looks for deeper meanings in the interconnectedness- or what they had in common. The following crowd simply exist to jot notes of everything Kim does. He photoshops the images to re-write his image in history as his own, a defiant act of a man who knows his life is determined. He is trying to prove that he can do something other than what he must. Hot damn, Kim Jong-il is on the same continuum as any living and spectacular artist.
Check it.
Nearly all his photos are manipulated in some way. He is almost never in the original photo and when he is, it's a doppleganger.
http://community.livejournal.com/ohnotheydidnt/54499611.html
There is a bunch of photos of Kim just looking at stuff. You can tell the closest ring to him are his professional staff. They are experts in their own disciplines to explain to him about each thing they look at. Kim looks for deeper meanings in the interconnectedness- or what they had in common. The following crowd simply exist to jot notes of everything Kim does. He photoshops the images to re-write his image in history as his own, a defiant act of a man who knows his life is determined. He is trying to prove that he can do something other than what he must. Hot damn, Kim Jong-il is on the same continuum as any living and spectacular artist.
It's a photoshopped cartoon of Kim a hundred years ago with a flock of lackys that understand exactly what he is trying to say, if only in pieces. In his mind Kim is a goddamn hero. When he told the Dali Lama that all religion was poison, what he meant to say was that any institution that does not make full use of a person's value is destructive. Kim honestly believes that he is the only one capable of leading a country but that is exactly why he does a poor job. He doesn't have diversity. I'm telling you, if Kim Jong-il allows diversity into his country- and his government, he'd be over for tea with His Holiness in India in no time.
check this
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nlk9Sj4Ns2k
There is a video of a young Bob Marley who looks absolutely green and terrified. He's a man who is terrified of his appeared image rather than who he really is. This is Bob as a low man; inward facing and closed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGqrvn3q1oo&feature=related
Here is Bob playing in the afternoon out of fear that he'd start a riot. His eyes are closed to the audience, he disregards the lyrics at the start to tell everyone that they have the answer and he has his head tilted to the sky with a look of bliss. This is divine Marley; open to the heavens and lit from the inside. Excellent Marley.
This is why Bob Marley was so great- he taught people to believe in themselves and follow inner guidance. The same is true of art. You could look at a certain favorite painting and put yourself in an altered state. I had to learn how to do this consciously, which is why I can write about it. I know how to get to that place. Metacognative tricks that allow me to wiggle my way into any part of the machine.
Three people expressed interest in buying the first gourd I've carved. I wonder which avenue fits my expression best? Perhaps all of them if I try it.
There is a video of a young Bob Marley who looks absolutely green and terrified. He's a man who is terrified of his appeared image rather than who he really is. This is Bob as a low man; inward facing and closed.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jGqrvn3q1oo&feature=related
Here is Bob playing in the afternoon out of fear that he'd start a riot. His eyes are closed to the audience, he disregards the lyrics at the start to tell everyone that they have the answer and he has his head tilted to the sky with a look of bliss. This is divine Marley; open to the heavens and lit from the inside. Excellent Marley.
This is why Bob Marley was so great- he taught people to believe in themselves and follow inner guidance. The same is true of art. You could look at a certain favorite painting and put yourself in an altered state. I had to learn how to do this consciously, which is why I can write about it. I know how to get to that place. Metacognative tricks that allow me to wiggle my way into any part of the machine.
Three people expressed interest in buying the first gourd I've carved. I wonder which avenue fits my expression best? Perhaps all of them if I try it.
Monday, February 7, 2011
Sunday, February 6, 2011
to generate digital life
you'd need to calculate how many bits of information in a common object. let's 25% of the ink on a postal stamp contains 25,000 bits of information. pretty easy by the standards of quantum physics. you'd need a computer with the processing power for every one of those bits, and even then you would never have an entire object because real world objects are effected by every single object around them, which is infinitely more than the single object.
and they say that just because the world is determined it makes us morally irresponsible but nothing could be farther than the truth. we're morally responsible for finding out exactly the base functions of this world. we might not be able to generate the entire universe, but we can find the string that pulls in what we want. I think it was galileo who suggested a mathematical formula for the functions of this world.
(polycarbonate)
peace out, my brothas.
burn out
with publicity in music or the arts, in general, when you get to a certain size fanbase, they'll support you. I mean, it seems inherently true because they are buying your art, but don't get it confused, it isn't the colors they are buying, it's a link to this deeper truth that they can tap into whenever they want. it's a meditation tool a the heart of it. musical shamanism where the fringe element can be part of the larger culture. creativity brought to the heart of the dull. breaking of barriers with the way you can see hip hop and country music mix or folktale reggae. music tries to explain how to be successful in your own life, inadvertently. then some schmuck decides to listen to 2pac and figures out how to cure aids.
this represents a falling into the singularity of choice. sometimes you move directly towards the circle and that is called a "breakthrough" in any discipline. you explore a variety of different methodologies, tunes, tools, weapons, tactics- and then you find the key that fits the door. this method works well. I hate to tell you this friend, but that is the mechanism of self awareness. work backwards.
you seek pattern to try new tactics to see what works best <= this is called being self aware. it's a process, just like any other, that is designed to give you more variation to improve the genetic pool. dominant traits appear faster and it explains "breakthroughs" such as the bronze age. (not aliens- genetics). <= as it is a tool of survival value, like thirst, it is governed by the same rules and factors of other survival tools <= survival tools depend on facts that exist in nature. it's cold outside thus I need a jacket. you need to 'understand' purple jackets, so you buy one to mix up your internal processes. to keep you fresh. <= these tools depend on physical systems themselves like the works of physics. your heart contains a finite amount of cells, each working like clockwork. you'll die on the same day no matter what you do.
you are a determined factor in this world. so relax. but remember, NON- ACTION isn't the same as NO-ACTION. this idea is expressed in works like the Bhagavad Gita and Tao Te Ching. taoist scripture says that things are determined but there is personal agency- there is a kind of flexibility to it. This is similar to compatabalism in logistics. This is a kind of a quarter truth. there is an absolute determinism in things (hard determinism) but we can never know it because to calculate things on that level would require a computer larger than what you're trying to calculate. a teraflop contains a trillion floating point operations per second but how many floating point operations does it take to create a computer? imagine each proton or electron is a floating point? there are three isotopes for every carbon molecule in a polycarbonate plastic bottle. so good luck with that. that's what really blows me away about the I Ching because it doesn't predict things, it gets the general view- a short peek in the 'random' underworkings and naturally, it's very simple to use.
I'm sorry, science is a ticking time bomb. we can only magnify things so much. we will never walk on the surface of a hydrogen molecule. we, as a species existing like we are in the moment, have a very short term in this universe. I'm not talking about aliens or whatever, I'm just saying that in 3.9 billion years ago some stuff happened and we called that "earth". the history of man is what, like 10,000 years? that means that in another 10,000 years we will be as different from now as we are now from the whatever we crawled from.
anyway, we'd need a computer the size of our universe to create a digital sofa. that is all.
also, the arguments for and against determinism are super weak. it's like they have no idea what they're talking about.
Dollar
Dollar Day - Mos Def
this helps me understand music better. he's singing about the natural disaster at New Orleans and how the rescue workers were surprised to find a woman wandering around in the flooded streets- expecting everyone was dead. ("oh- oh my god! where have you been? how have you survived this long?" "Where I been? Where you been?!") he ends on an interesting note. "Don't talk about it. Be about it" but he had just spent three minutes criticizing the actions of the President. like, what exactly has mos def done besides talking about it? I mean, not many rappers also do well in the movies, but that's still talk. unless he means talking about taking a stand; that makes more sense. his music mainly expresses a state of mind than a particular message. I understand what he's saying, he speaks clearly enough. I understand the references, but mainly I hear a state of mind. when the man feels crushed or anxious, I hear it. I can tell when he's had a good day before the recording or not. he speaks his mind without words- but maybe that's just me. I've been known to assume.
When he did Tell the Truth with Immortal Technique, he sang the chorus. now that I listen to it again, Tech's voice sounds rather tinny, like a computer mic or something. Eh. anyway, in Mos Def's voice you can hear the emotion of what he's expressing. "Man, you hear this bullshit they be talkin'. Every day man, it's like these motherfuckers is just like professional liers; you know what I'm saying; listen!" you can hear what he means even if you didn't understand the words. if you only spoke mandarin and knew the general subject, you'd understand his position. Open your Eyes by Immortal Technique basically lays down the emotional history of American History. living on that creative edge really gives you a way to see beyond what people say. if you don't care about the same things as everyone else, you're free to develop your own style.
but mainstream music depends entirely on fringe music. without fringe music, mainstream would never develop into anything worth hearing. it would just replay over and over the same song for the rest of eternity. it's most obvious in the movie industry. you have key staples in film; a few include the natural disaster theme (deep impact, day after tomorrow, waterworld, twister), the wacky comedy (meet the fockers, duck soup, airplane, young frankenstein, pink panther), superhero (die hard, inception, lord of the rings, terminator), romance drama/comedy (dirty dancing, gone with the wind, how to lose a guy in 10 days, sweet home alabama)... it just replays over and over. same theme, same characters, slightly different roles (one is spike, the other, max). then, you have the brainsplitting movies like the matrix (which still went on to make thousands of spinnoffs! and NOW we have an animated movie series! and a cartoon! and a little neo doll!) that seriously give you something to think about. the Coen brothers are simply in another league.
actors are trained to act a specific way so it's hard to tell what they're really feeling. it's a sign of a good actor that throws themselves into the roll completely. most commonly is in comedy, I think. in music, of course, bills must be paid, so perhaps when Lil Wayne needs cash he'll wake up, take out his bedazzled retainer and say "yeeeeaaahhh" a couple times into the mic beside his bed and sell it. they go on and on about the most trivial and destructive behaviors like inhibition and a shallow cheapness. that's why they have to dress themselves in such attire and sing about how rich they are. it's the only way for them to disguise themselves as worthy to pay attention to. (I do kind of like eminem though) Lil Wayne in the music video for Got Money, runs through a bank and jumps around on tables. the crowd doesn't start dancing, they just stare at him like he's crazy. he throws cash around and the crowd blatantly ignores him for the cash. the only time you see a party scene is with an elaborately dressed t-pain, which is obviously in his head. what a nutter.
this helps me understand music better. he's singing about the natural disaster at New Orleans and how the rescue workers were surprised to find a woman wandering around in the flooded streets- expecting everyone was dead. ("oh- oh my god! where have you been? how have you survived this long?" "Where I been? Where you been?!") he ends on an interesting note. "Don't talk about it. Be about it" but he had just spent three minutes criticizing the actions of the President. like, what exactly has mos def done besides talking about it? I mean, not many rappers also do well in the movies, but that's still talk. unless he means talking about taking a stand; that makes more sense. his music mainly expresses a state of mind than a particular message. I understand what he's saying, he speaks clearly enough. I understand the references, but mainly I hear a state of mind. when the man feels crushed or anxious, I hear it. I can tell when he's had a good day before the recording or not. he speaks his mind without words- but maybe that's just me. I've been known to assume.
When he did Tell the Truth with Immortal Technique, he sang the chorus. now that I listen to it again, Tech's voice sounds rather tinny, like a computer mic or something. Eh. anyway, in Mos Def's voice you can hear the emotion of what he's expressing. "Man, you hear this bullshit they be talkin'. Every day man, it's like these motherfuckers is just like professional liers; you know what I'm saying; listen!" you can hear what he means even if you didn't understand the words. if you only spoke mandarin and knew the general subject, you'd understand his position. Open your Eyes by Immortal Technique basically lays down the emotional history of American History. living on that creative edge really gives you a way to see beyond what people say. if you don't care about the same things as everyone else, you're free to develop your own style.
but mainstream music depends entirely on fringe music. without fringe music, mainstream would never develop into anything worth hearing. it would just replay over and over the same song for the rest of eternity. it's most obvious in the movie industry. you have key staples in film; a few include the natural disaster theme (deep impact, day after tomorrow, waterworld, twister), the wacky comedy (meet the fockers, duck soup, airplane, young frankenstein, pink panther), superhero (die hard, inception, lord of the rings, terminator), romance drama/comedy (dirty dancing, gone with the wind, how to lose a guy in 10 days, sweet home alabama)... it just replays over and over. same theme, same characters, slightly different roles (one is spike, the other, max). then, you have the brainsplitting movies like the matrix (which still went on to make thousands of spinnoffs! and NOW we have an animated movie series! and a cartoon! and a little neo doll!) that seriously give you something to think about. the Coen brothers are simply in another league.
actors are trained to act a specific way so it's hard to tell what they're really feeling. it's a sign of a good actor that throws themselves into the roll completely. most commonly is in comedy, I think. in music, of course, bills must be paid, so perhaps when Lil Wayne needs cash he'll wake up, take out his bedazzled retainer and say "yeeeeaaahhh" a couple times into the mic beside his bed and sell it. they go on and on about the most trivial and destructive behaviors like inhibition and a shallow cheapness. that's why they have to dress themselves in such attire and sing about how rich they are. it's the only way for them to disguise themselves as worthy to pay attention to. (I do kind of like eminem though) Lil Wayne in the music video for Got Money, runs through a bank and jumps around on tables. the crowd doesn't start dancing, they just stare at him like he's crazy. he throws cash around and the crowd blatantly ignores him for the cash. the only time you see a party scene is with an elaborately dressed t-pain, which is obviously in his head. what a nutter.
types of synesthesia
Emotions -> colors
Flavors -> colors
Personalities -> colors
Emotion -> smell
Object personification
Emotion -> flavor
Emotion -> smell
Emotion -> touch
Personalities -> smells
Touch -> emotions
Touch -> smell
Vision -> flavors
Vision -> kinetics
Vision -> smells
Vision -> touch
Mostly personifications of ideas. Concepts become shapes with color and texture that I can move around in 3D space. Vision is most uncommon and the most difficult to deal with. It can be unnerving at times, but it's always educational.
doors
I wake and find my face caked in neon dust. I feel filthy in the way after a good scrubbing. Plastic clothes, ruffles, a tiny hat. I wake as a clown, parading around for these people. There's a chalky feeling in my throat that dries out my words. Makes them brittle. fragments.
it's easy to dance in the tune of a single drum. to juggle a single ball. that is what most people do- excellent at a single task. taoist scripture says that to be a real person you cannot simply know a single thing. you must pursue the multitude and act them out judiciously.
"Those who observe one thing and understand one art are mediocre people.
Those with a comprehensive purview and inclusive grasp of things, who assess abilities and employ them judiciously, are sages."one million blood red buffalo stampede a graygray pasture. cowboys shooting their pistols in the air. my tiny hairs on my head stand ablaze. headaches of roaming storms trying to find a way out. a way into the world. by the time I get to a page the storms have mostly killed themselves off. fragments only. dust in the wind.
it's an interesting thing- state dependent information. it's the kind of thing the vodun practitioners evoke during a ceremony. "altered states" hah. I saw a gaggle of elderly hipsters escape the movie theater today. each trying their best to fit into the group identity. I saw how little they fit those molds. the fat they had to cut to even appear to fit. butchered minds. it's like an inward spiral. stay in the same pattern long enough and you land in a singularity. a dead space. circling the drain towards improper emptiness. worship of a false god. they perform the actions but with an empty heart. these are people that cause great suffering. I have pity for them in my better days and anger in the worst. better to strike the method than the man but for those who choose to be lost, the ones who seek estrangement from the divine, those are the people I should avoid. it isn't worth talking with them because I'll only create suffering. like trying to swat a fly with a hammer- you're going to fuck up the house.
someone asked me today what the practical application was for my philosophy. I had to laugh, but I knew that no matter how I explained it, there was no way for her to understand. if you have to ask, you don't know. this kind of thing cannot be explained in any amount of words. I could write a complete explanation and no matter how logical- convulsions. oh god. just listening to them causes me agony. close friends ask if I'm depressed. typical sorrow has no place here. it doesn't boost my confidence or make me feel better if you say that I'm smart. I'm not smart. not at all. it has nothing to do with my accomplishments or actions. I do nothing in this world as you know it. if I did, I wouldn't be able to do the things I do.
dull people, lesser people- they stand on their heads and see the world backwards. average people chase after suffering and equally fleeting glimpses of promise. they juggle a single ball. higher people- think about it. it's exponential. it's not just juggling two balls, it's entire universes. literally, I understand multiple realities at once and it isn't anything other people can -properly- understand without doing it themselves. I can understand the intimacies of the world you live in as if it were my own. I once synthesized a woman's lifestyle within ten seconds and verified it against her longtime friend. there is nothing to fear from this, it's as natural as the rain. no harm can be done of it. it isn't that I would never use it to harm another person, I'm incapable of it. I'd be driven mad as soon as I attempted it. crushed under the weight of my own wrongdoing. heaven itself would not allow anything to contradict it's motions.
I'm tired.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Drift
I was all about Legba- all about Loki- all about Hermes. Obsessed with the trickster. His shifty nature brought me into a fuller understanding and it seems as if I've done the impossible. I've escaped my own escape. Dashing away from the nature of dashing. That of course is a malicious lie. You only dash away from dashing by not dashing.
- .... .. ... / .. ... / .- / .--. .- --. . / -... .-. . .- -.-
I saw Ogun and realized- or remembered- that each of the Haitian Loa are aspects of the self. You not only have to be intimate with each Loa, you have to embody them fully- each and every one. Why would I only love myself in fragments? Am I not after the entire self? I shall embody the entire self and allow excellence flow through each and every pore. Take up non-action and a devotion towards god. Shoulder the responsibility for the self only, but fully. It's all talk until I do it.
Dance with the Tiger
Let's assume that the "purpose" of a thing is it's primary use. A knife is a tool comprised of a variety of elements. Objectively it would be silly to say the purpose of steel is to create cutting tools, but the purpose of a knife is to cut. I suppose the real purpose in knife manufacturing is to make money, but let's not split hairs. My knife isn't sharp enough anyway.
Language is a use of symbols to express complicated ideas such as objects, emotions, locations and traits. The word for "dog" is much less complex than the dog itself, though cat admirers may disagree. The best language use then is concise without loss of expression. Powerful and brief, like when your girlfriend visits you at your mothers house and you decide to watch a movie. It also follows that excellence is simple.
As your expectations for me lower, so do the stars and from this angle, they look much more like lightbulbs. I reject this model because it has never quenched my hunger for celestial excellence. I will make my own.
"Those whose words are inconsistent and whose acts are inconsistent are small people.
Those who observe one thing and understand one art are mediocre people.
Those with a comprehensive purview and inclusive grasp of things, who assess abilities and employ them judiciously, are sages."
The Taoist Classics, Thomas Cleary, Volume I
Language is a use of symbols to express complicated ideas such as objects, emotions, locations and traits. The word for "dog" is much less complex than the dog itself, though cat admirers may disagree. The best language use then is concise without loss of expression. Powerful and brief, like when your girlfriend visits you at your mothers house and you decide to watch a movie. It also follows that excellence is simple.
As your expectations for me lower, so do the stars and from this angle, they look much more like lightbulbs. I reject this model because it has never quenched my hunger for celestial excellence. I will make my own.
"Those whose words are inconsistent and whose acts are inconsistent are small people.
Those who observe one thing and understand one art are mediocre people.
Those with a comprehensive purview and inclusive grasp of things, who assess abilities and employ them judiciously, are sages."
The Taoist Classics, Thomas Cleary, Volume I
Reincarnation
I spoke to an Amazonian ayawaska shaman once about reincarnation. Cool dude. Anyway, what he told me was very important. He first made it very clear that he did not believe any personal information or knowledge was transfered between people in the process of reincarnation. Later I'll explain why I think this is only partially true. He spoke about how God each gives us a "light bank" upon our arrival on this world and by spending this "light currency" we increased the value, or total sum, in our light bank. He was very vague on the nature of the currency but was able to tell me that you spent this currency by doing good deeds and helping others. If you squandered this light currency or were frugal with your kindness, you lost some from your bank.
He told me that when you die, your light bank is transfered to another person when they are born. He didn't speak about how this next person was chosen. He wasn't able to explain how this transfer happened or even why, but his language use was that God had been the one to transfer this light bank.
Quick breakdown.
• You're born with some kind of inherent good quality.
• You receive this quality from another person (somehow).
• You increase this quality by doing good deeds.
Alternatively, you lose this quality by doing bad deeds.
• Upon death you transfer this quality (somehow) to someone else.
• Absolutely no personal information is traded.
--The Interpretation--
First, I think the most important aspect of this translation is to figure out how goodness is transfered from one person and another. Like I said before, Ali (the shaman) said that by doing good deeds you increased this quality. Of course if you do some kind of good deed, there is a recipient. This is the basis of my interpretation of the transaction. Instead of one life to the next, it is between one individual and another within their lifetime. God then would be the circumstances and opportunities that allow for you to do these good deeds (see pantheism).
If you're born with this inherent good quality it would make sense that you're born into a community of this good quality. That wording is a little funny so allow me to rephrase. The amount of light you are born with is entirely dependent on your environment. You may be a naturally good person but let's not forget that this is a transfer between people and that each person receives their base amount from other people- in this case, their community.
This would also fit into the fact that no personal information is exchanged but here is where I think it is kind of a half truth. While you don't receive the memories of another lifetime at birth, you do receive stories and shared experiences throughout your lifetime. This, of course, is in the same social process that allows you to do these good deeds. In caring for someone, you take a part of them with you. In that respect, the social reincarnation- the rebirth of a generation- does carry personal information; just as a series of tribesmen will share an oral tradition over generations.
Here is where it gets real interesting.
In this diagram, the large circle represents our community as a whole,
the smaller circles would be the individuals within that community.
As each individual increases their light bank by doing good deeds, their circle grows larger.
As the whole of the community gathers more and more light (positive karma, whathaveyou), it influences the city. Now imagine each small circle as its own city within the state (large circle). Each state within the country. Each country within the continent. Each continent within the Earth, and so on.
And so you can start to see the idea of reincarnation as a way to explain social evolution over generations.
(This same model can be used to illustrate any kind of communal change. Genetic diversity of biological evolution, the democratic process, social trends of any kind, particles/cells/organs/humans/planets- many implications, simple diagram)
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