A month or two ago it used to be that I could only understand a person's behavior as far back as conception. I could see why a person had a nervous tic in their shoulders, but now I can see into their ancestry. I saw a man today and I could see twelve generations into his linage. 612 to 864 years! I come from a long line of change agents. I was born of two worlds, the warrior and the healer to a world with boundaries that I could redraw at will; I was the force that could pass through barriers others could not.
It is not without it's great irony that the unscientific mythos of yesteryear most aptly describes this phenomenon. I noticed today at the movies that they were our linage of story telling- a fundamental part of culture if ever there was one. This one, tainted with authoritarian values, commanded attention with both the size and presence of the screen, as well as the demand for silence and the railed off seating. You sit there like a good little citizen and you watch this film.
Do you remember a time before advertisements? I mean, now it's all pervasive on the internet with three minute advertisements in movie theaters now. They stretched the time between movies just to fit more advertisement time. They did that so you'd sit down to ads before the film. THEN they add more crap right before the film. Video game trailers and product infomercials. Remember when you'd go to the movies, wait for the film to end, fight your way past all the people walking out and then sit down for five minutes before the movie started? Your children will never know that. In fact, your children won't know much because in 30-70 years the population will double and we'll be consuming 20x the available resources so buckle your fucking seatbelts.
The world they grow up in, the world they become accustomed to, will never be the same again. Each generation unprepared to take care of the next, holding dearly to the temperamental and largely outdated values of the past; decomposing, standing up, in a stiff breeze.
And when I talk like this in public, you can see the tears of recognition swell shut the eyes. You can see the panicked victimization of memory in their behavior. I can watch the individual mechanisms working their way through the system, how corroded it is to be bound to such a way. I can see their logic tumbling about like a ball in a chute game. A, B,... OH, ok, ok... uhhh... C, shit. uhh..f?. shit. D! Meanwhile I'm trying to slow to an average cognition speed of the 58 facets of a round, brilliant cut diamond multiplied by the 400 - 700 wavelengths of visible light which, if you're wondering, comes out to 23,200 - 40,600 wonderful new ideas by the time they figure out what they want to even start to consider. This is called monkey mind and I embrace it because it let's me slip past all the gatekeepers in this world.
Yes, I can tell you about reincarnation and cultural mythos and the truth of the world, but you would hardly even be able to understand it. In the heat of it all, I sometimes forget my humility and make an ass out of myself. It's difficult because I have to be 'ON' 200% of the time. I can't fit in this culture as other people do and I have to keep myself from falling into the two traps of dysfunction. If I don't look at it enough, I fall into a hole, never to see the light again. If I stare directly into the sun, my eyes and wings burn away and I descend into a pile of ash. If I stay perfectly in harmony, some cultural sadist will come along and force his perversions onto me because he can't stand even the mere thought of anything that isn't vile and set against the world. While I'm just as good a destroyer, he does not destroy with purpose. The devil is pure aggression without reason. The clown is knowingness without purpose. The princess is elegance without action. The prince is misplaced action. The king is the empty leader. The knight is the tilted justice. Each archetype playing it's role in this tilted world.
In this world, you all demand that I play the trickster. Each person I meet commands me to play the role by implication of the intense need for trickster. They beg for it on their hands and knees. When I agree, they take their stance as the archetype and make their scheduled moves and try to learn from how I dance around them. They are trying to learn the path of the open palm by clenching tighter. I try to explain this through song or dance or by pure reason but they insist that if they JUST clench TIGHT ENOUGH, the hand will open and all will be revealed.
... well.
No comments:
Post a Comment